Silly Mom Thoughts

As the mother of a preschooler, I consider myself quite a connoisseur of children’s movies, particularly those created by Disney/Pixar and Dreamworks. And, much to my chagrin, I can often connect lines that were taken from one movie and put into another one. For instance:

Tim Allen as Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story 2 says to Woody:

“You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity.”

Then, in The Santa Clause 2, Tim Allen, as Scott Calvin is fighting Evil Toy Santa Claus (also Allen) who says this line:

“You are a sad, strange little man.”

I am a sad, strange little mama for making that connection.

There are a number of great, entertaining kid movies out there. I particularly appreciate the ones with subtle adult humor that flies way over childrens’ heads. However, there are a few kid movies that bug the crap outta me.

1. Happy Feet
   
   This movie is anything but happy. It’s dark, depressing, and just plain boring. Very quickly, you’re clued in to the fact that Happy Feet has an ulterior motive as a short commercial on over-fishing precedes the opening credits. The entire movie is simply meant to guilt parents into taking a stand against commercial fishing. Now, I’m not saying commercial fishing, over-fishing, is okay, but I don’t appreciate the reminder in my kid’s movies.
2. Wall-E
   
   Speaking of ulterior motives, this one is a doozy. On the outset, a cute love story between a robot that appears to be a hybrid of E.T. and Johnny 5, and a “female” robot that looks like a souped up Apple product. Not very far below the surface is the true motive of the movie: You’re all killing the earth and will end up morbidly obese. Cool, thanks Disney/Pixar. I really wanted a lecture while I was sitting down to enjoy a movie with my kids, shoving popcorn, pop, and Milk Duds into my face. Jerks.
3. Anthing with talking animals.
   
   I’m talking about you, Air Bud (and the endless movies that followed it), The Shaggy Dog, Beethoven, Ed (remember, Matt LeBlanc and the monkey?). Oh the list could go on and on… For Heaven’s sake, if you’re going to make a talking animal movie, why not save your dignity and create a cartoon instead?
4. Valiant
   
   Too boring to even waste my time typing about. I mean, who really cares about carrier pigeons?

These are only a few kid movies that have rubbed me the wrong way. I almost put Incredibles on the list because it is so incredibly violent, yet it is sold as a kid’s movie right next to Cars and Finding Nemo. But, I decided to let that slide. My kids simply won’t be watching it for quite some time.

There are some kid movies that I think rock big time. For instance, both Toy Story and Toy Story 2 are works of genius, with an excellent voice cast to boot. Kung Fu Panda is another fave, even if only for the fact that Jack Black uses the word “bodacity” and it makes me smile every time. I’m also a fan of the Shrek movies, though the third one seemed to lose a little bit of its oomph. And, one of my all-time favorites will forever be Enchanted. I hold a dear place in my heart for anyone who has the guts to make fun of themselves, and I think Disney was cooler than cool to come out with a movie that made fun of nearly every movie they ever created. The best part, was that it was still a compelling story, even outside of the hilariousness and bodacity of it all. (See, Jack? I can use bodacity too.)

Are there any kid movies that you particularly love or hate? I’d love to hear your opinions too!