Silly Mom Thoughts

Today was one of those days when I realized Turk and I are good parents raising sweet children. I bask in these days because, especially around the toddler/preschool years, they seem to be few and far between.

Today, Bug didn’t nap. No biggie, he played pretty well by himself and let me finish cleaning and have some quiet time. When Bean woke up, he came running in to the room where I was.

“Mom! Whas dat noise in my ears?”

Bean made a noise from the other room. I waited a little longer, because I wanted to hear the cuteness that was coming from his mouth. Sure enough, there was more.

“Hear dat? It’s in my ears! Yee yee’s awake! Hurry!”

I lifted Bean from her Pack ‘n Play nap spot and Bug leaned in to hug her.

“I missed you, Yee yee!” he exclaimed, his arm around her. He then kissed her on the head.

She leaned into him and gave him a kiss back, and that was when my heart melted into a gooey puddle on the floor.

Later, after a good play outside, they were standing in the kitchen with me and Bean wrapped her arms around her brother’s waist. He reciprocated and kissed her on the head again. “I wuv you, Yee yee!”

I couldn’t stand it. I knelt down and wrapped them both in a gigantic hug. There was a whole lot of kissin’ and huggin’ going on in that little love circle.

Then, as if this all weren’t sweet and ooey gooey enough, Bean did another cute thing. It was her turn to get out of the bath and I asked her to stand up so I could wrap her in the towel.

“Bye bye!” she said to the bathtub and I smiled.

Then, she leaned down and kissed the water and left with a final, “Bye bye!”

Cute, right?

Dang, I love these days. It is an amazing break from the usual hitting, biting, screaming, tantruming, and lack of sharing that goes on around these parts most days of the week.

When Bug first started potty training last year, I vowed to never ever offer extrinsic rewards for going on the potty. No sticker charts, no toys, and especially no candy. I wanted him to go on the potty and feel intrinsically rewarded, I wanted him to do it for himself because he felt good about it. That all sounded well and good, and it worked for a little while, but then the poo accidents started. And continued. They were gross.

Since January, Bug hasn’t gone #2 on the potty more than once or twice per week. The rest of the time, often more than once per day, he was droppin’ dukes in his pants like “Woops, did I do that?” It was frustrating, disgusting, and incredibly disheartening. Last week, I reached my breaking point, when Bug caught a… well, bug, and had some really great surprises for me in his pants. I’ll spare you the gruesome details, but lets just say they often involved an impromptu shower to clean him off.

Saturday, Turk and I were talking about this little issue and he suggested we try a different tactic. Obviously, nothing we were doing was working, no matter how patient we were with his accidents. And frankly, I cannot take the mess anymore.

“The YMCA daycare gives the kids a Gummi Bear if they poop on the potty,” Turk said.

“No, I don’t want to reward him with candy,” I replied flatly.

“Well, nothing else is working,” he reasoned.

Good point.

“Alright, we’ll give it a try,” I conceded.

Sunday, I picked up a ginormous pack at Target. I brought it home and Bug’s eyes boggled.

“What’s dat?!” he asked.

“Gummi Bears ,” I replied. “You get one when you poop on the potty.”

Bug ran straight for the bathroom, sat on the toilet and grunted like a caveman.

“I can’t do it, Mama!” he groaned.

“That’s okay, buddy, they’ll still be here when you do have to go.”

He didn’t have to go all night and I thought maybe the novelty of the treat idea had worn off on him. Then, this morning I heard him pad to the bathroom and do his business.

Yessss! Finally!

I patted his back, told him how proud I was, wiped him up and led him back to his room.

Maybe he forgot about the Gummi Bears after all, I thought.

He looked up at me with those huge blue eyes, still droopy from sleep, and said, “Mommy, I get a Gummi Bear now?”

“Yes, buddy, you get a Gummi Bear,” I said, and handed him his potty reward.

Once upon a time, I said never. I should know better by now than to say “never” to anything. Apparently, he is a reward-driven kind of kid, and for right now, I’ll do whatever it takes if it means not having to clean up poo messes all day long.

This is slightly off-topic, but it does have to do with Gummi Bears. Do you remember the Gummi Bear show? “Gummi Bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere…” Turk and I were just talking about that show last night. Too funny.

As the mother of a preschooler, I consider myself quite a connoisseur of children’s movies, particularly those created by Disney/Pixar and Dreamworks. And, much to my chagrin, I can often connect lines that were taken from one movie and put into another one. For instance:

Tim Allen as Buzz Lightyear in Toy Story 2 says to Woody:

“You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity.”

Then, in The Santa Clause 2, Tim Allen, as Scott Calvin is fighting Evil Toy Santa Claus (also Allen) who says this line:

“You are a sad, strange little man.”

I am a sad, strange little mama for making that connection.

There are a number of great, entertaining kid movies out there. I particularly appreciate the ones with subtle adult humor that flies way over childrens’ heads. However, there are a few kid movies that bug the crap outta me.

1. Happy Feet
   
   This movie is anything but happy. It’s dark, depressing, and just plain boring. Very quickly, you’re clued in to the fact that Happy Feet has an ulterior motive as a short commercial on over-fishing precedes the opening credits. The entire movie is simply meant to guilt parents into taking a stand against commercial fishing. Now, I’m not saying commercial fishing, over-fishing, is okay, but I don’t appreciate the reminder in my kid’s movies.
2. Wall-E
   
   Speaking of ulterior motives, this one is a doozy. On the outset, a cute love story between a robot that appears to be a hybrid of E.T. and Johnny 5, and a “female” robot that looks like a souped up Apple product. Not very far below the surface is the true motive of the movie: You’re all killing the earth and will end up morbidly obese. Cool, thanks Disney/Pixar. I really wanted a lecture while I was sitting down to enjoy a movie with my kids, shoving popcorn, pop, and Milk Duds into my face. Jerks.
3. Anthing with talking animals.
   
   I’m talking about you, Air Bud (and the endless movies that followed it), The Shaggy Dog, Beethoven, Ed (remember, Matt LeBlanc and the monkey?). Oh the list could go on and on… For Heaven’s sake, if you’re going to make a talking animal movie, why not save your dignity and create a cartoon instead?
4. Valiant
   
   Too boring to even waste my time typing about. I mean, who really cares about carrier pigeons?

These are only a few kid movies that have rubbed me the wrong way. I almost put Incredibles on the list because it is so incredibly violent, yet it is sold as a kid’s movie right next to Cars and Finding Nemo. But, I decided to let that slide. My kids simply won’t be watching it for quite some time.

There are some kid movies that I think rock big time. For instance, both Toy Story and Toy Story 2 are works of genius, with an excellent voice cast to boot. Kung Fu Panda is another fave, even if only for the fact that Jack Black uses the word “bodacity” and it makes me smile every time. I’m also a fan of the Shrek movies, though the third one seemed to lose a little bit of its oomph. And, one of my all-time favorites will forever be Enchanted. I hold a dear place in my heart for anyone who has the guts to make fun of themselves, and I think Disney was cooler than cool to come out with a movie that made fun of nearly every movie they ever created. The best part, was that it was still a compelling story, even outside of the hilariousness and bodacity of it all. (See, Jack? I can use bodacity too.)

Are there any kid movies that you particularly love or hate? I’d love to hear your opinions too!

My three-year-old is a sponge, soaking up anything and everything that piques his interest. Sometimes I am caught of guard by his sponginess. He will repeat something that I said, or an action that he saw, when I thought he wasn’t even paying attention. The other day, for instance, he said out of nowhere, “It’s the night before Kissmas and all tru da house, not a criture was stuw-ing, not eben a mouse!” Needless to say, I was impressed.

Sometimes, though, he soaks up things I’d rather he didn’t. Like the other morning, when I was having my 5:25am tantrum I muttered the  “S” word under my breath when I was lifting up a child safety gate. The next morning, Bug walked up to the gate, grumbled, “Sit!” and stomped off.

Bug has a little friend who loves to add words to “head.” His favorite is “poophead.” Yesterday, this friend was over and soon after he left, Bug looked at me smiling and said, “Poophead!” I realized that he was testing this new cool word out and didn’t quite understand the meaning behind it, so I told him sternly to never say that word again, or he would be in trouble. I explained that it wasn’t a nice word to call someone at all.

Later that evening, the kids were in the tub and Bug looked at Bean and yelled, “Poophead!” Honestly, I think he thought it was a funny word, something that was more silly than insulting. But, I don’t want him going around saying that, so I plucked him out of the bath, wrapped him in a towel, and sent him off to time out.

He was crushed! Bath time is the happy hour of toddlers, something they look forward to after a long day of tantrums and being waited on hand and foot. When Mama takes away bath time, she means business.

After his time out sentence was served, he came back in to the bathroom and apologized to Bean and me. I put him in PJs and we watched Bean splash around in the bath for a while and he laughed at his silly little sister. That’s when he said it.

“You’re a-” he paused, thinking, and I prayed that he was not going to say the word he just got in trouble for saying, “Silly head!”

I was so proud. He sat and thought about the words before he said them. My punishment worked. I hugged him, kissed him, praised him for thinking before he spoke. I told him “silly head” is just fine, especially since our family is full of silly heads. The rest of the night, he giggled and called his sister a “Silly head” every time she was acting like a nut.

The only problem?

With Bug’s unique speech, “Silly head” actually sounds like, “Sh!t head.”

Oh well, it’s the true meaning that counts, right?

…is the time I was rudely awakened from a delicious dream. There I was standing in line at McDonald’s , eating Cup ‘O Noodles, trying to decide if I wanted a McDouble Cheeseburger, fries, or Chicken McNuggets. I was about to order all of the above, when my bedroom door swung open, sending me abruptly from dreamland to Mommyland.

Bug was awake.

At 5:25 am?!

We have been working with him on night training and apparently his little body woke him up to go pee. I helped him to the potty and then sent him back to his room.

“I want moke,”  he whined

“You can have milk later, buddy, it’s waaay too early right now,” I whispered, trying not to wake Bean up, who was sleeping just feet away.

I left the room and peeked into the bathroom. Turk was up getting ready for work.

“I hate tax season!” I hissed at him through the crack in the door. “You getting ready this early wakes the kids up!”

(In his defense, that wasn’t the case today, but it is usually the case.)

I plopped down onto the bed and closed my eyes. Bean started whimpering. Then crying. Bug came back into our room.

There is something you should know about me. Unless you are sick, teething, an infant, or have a damn good reason, you do not mess with my sleep. I need my sleep. Especially when I have twins cooking in my uterus.

Bean quieted down and I assumed she put herself back to sleep. Turk got Bug some milk and cereal and set him up in the next room to watch cartoons.

It was 5:41am. There are no cartoons on TV and I was so not dealing with Bug’s whiny tantrums all day because he didn’t get enough sleep. I went into the next room and turned off the TV. Bug flipped out and I lost my temper a bit, not my finest Mommy Moment. I told him to calm down (not in a calm voice myself, like that’s ever going to work), he freaked out more and woke up Bean who started screaming.

I stomped into the kitchen, warmed up some milk to put in a sippy cup for Bean, while Bug whined and freaked out next to me. Turk slipped out the front door with an “I love you. Hope you have a good day.” I will bet he ran down the steps as fast as his legs would take him. I would have.

Soon, I calmed down. Bug and Bean calmed down. I put him back in his room and plopped back into my bed.

My clock read 6:11 am and after all the adrenaline and getting upset, I was wide awake. Man!

Despite the rocky start to the morning, I was able to doze until 7:45, an unheard of feat. At one point, Bug crawled back into bed with me, but was good and quiet and snuggled. What could have been a bad morning, actually turned out okay.

Except that I haven’t been able to shake this insane craving for McDonald’s food…

Something miraculous is happening in my house as I type this. Brace yourself, this is huge. Are you ready? Okay. Both Bug and Bean are napping soundly, leaving me to blog and eat delicious Toblerone chocolate in a peacefully quiet house. Oh, how few and far between these glorious days are! To add to the wonderfulness of today, the sun is shining and I haven’t had my usual morning sickness for two whole days now. Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming.

Since we have spent far too much time indoors lately, watching endless amounts of TV and Disney movies, I decided to pack the kids up and head for the playground this afternoon. Although I know my kids love going to the park, I always dread going without another adult to chat with. It’s so boring! They aren’t nearly old enough to where I can sit on a bench nearby and peruse through a magazine, so instead I find myself standing near the playground equipment watching them go up and down the slides. Of course, I cheer them on and interact with them, but it gets a little repetitive after a while.

Today there was another mother at the playground with her two children. Immediately, her kids ran up to Bug and whisked him off to play with them. It was adorable, I have never met such friendly kids in my life. Now, Bug is normally a friendly kid who gets along with most anyone, but he and the little boy his same age hit it off famously. They were holding hands, hugging, sliding down the slide together, it was too sweet.

Meanwhile, the mom and I chatted. She was cool and friendly. She told me how she grew up in another country and her children were bilingual, which pushed her cool-quotient through the roof. Her husband has season tickets for the Seahawks, Turk and I have season tickets for the Seahawks. They live only a few blocks from us. Our sons were born within two weeks of each other. We chatted on and on and our boys continued to play.

We then reached that weird part of any coincidental meeting at the park: To trade phone numbers or not to trade phone numbers. It’s the part of interacting at the playground that I dislike. It feels so much like dating to me. Playground dating.

I hate being forward, so it feels awkward for me to blurt out, “Hey, we should get together again since our kids play so well together. What’s your phone number?” Instead, I tested the waters a bit. “Wow, we should get these boys together again and do a play date or something,” I chuckled, so she could either take what I said seriously, or just chuckle along with me and ignore my remark.

I watched nervously from the corner of my eye as she reached for her phone. Holy moly, did I just make a new friend? Sure enough, her next words were, “Why don’t you give me your number and we’ll meet up again?”

Yessss! I made a playground date! Despite speaking in toddler babble all day, I am not completely socially inept! What a relief. We traded phone numbers with the promise to get in contact soon.

As far as playground dating goes, I think 2nd base involves meeting up again in a public place. If that works, we round 3rd base and schedule a play date at one of our homes.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Having kids truly forces you to open up socially. Although I’m fairly outgoing as an adult, I was painfully shy as a child. Sometimes, especially in unfamiliar situations, I find myself resorting back to that shyness. But, if I bring my kids along, there’s simply no option to be shy. If Bug is playing nicely (or sometimes not-so-nicely) with another person’s child, it would be awkward of me to not give the other parent at least a grin or some sort of acknowledgement (and sometimes an “I’m so sorry!” if Bug wasn’t being so nice).

I have been around parents who very clearly do not want to be interacted with. I always attempt a “Hello” or some sort of nonverbal communication, but there are some times when parents are off-the-charts antisocial. I was once at a children’s museum with Bug and my son and hers were playing nicely together. I tried to give her a friendly grin, and in response she made her kid stop playing and go somewhere else. She would physically move her child away from Bug any time they came in close proximity to each other. Now that was by far the weirdest interaction I have ever experienced.

No matter, though, there are plenty of Mama Fish in the sea (like the uber cool one I met today!).

My life is so random, why shouldn’t my blog also be? A few updates on my crew, my twins, and me.

Twins Update (or I’m So In Love With Those Heartbeats):

Yesterday, I saw my OB for the first time. How funny is that? Here, I’ve been to the doctor three times, had two ultrasounds and still haven’t actually seen my OB. Turns out, he and his wife just welcomed a baby the same time I was needing to come in, so our schedules crossed.

He sat down with me for close to an hour and simply chatted about my previous pregnancies, concerns I have, anything I want him to know. He had already thoroughly looked through my previous medical charts and explained things to me (like why I bled so severely after Bug was born) that no other doctor has taken the time to. We talked about my previous bout with postpartum depression and he said he would like to put me on antidepressants before the babies arrive so we can be proactive. I hate putting drugs into my system, but I know how awful PPD was and I have a feeling I won’t be spared this time either.

I asked when he usually delivers twins and he said he’ll let me go as long as we’re all safe and healthy, up to 39 weeks. He anticipates it will be closer to 36 weeks, since twins usually come early, but I will bet money they’ll have to be evicted around 39 weeks. (If Bug and Bean are any indication, my babies like to bake as long as possible.) So, that leaves me 29 weeks or less until we become a family of six!

He told me he usually does an ultrasound during the checkup, but since I had one recently, he didn’t feel that was necessary. I asked if we could at least try to pick up heartbeats and he said that we could certainly try. After my girly checkup and all that fun stuff, he was getting ready to leave and had totally forgotten about my heartbeat request. Bashfully, I asked, “Umm, can we please try to find the heartbeats?” my face turning all red like it always does.

He pulled out the doppler and began searching. I could hear my heartbeat loud and clear, but no babies at all. I started sweating bullets, worried that we wouldn’t find them. Soon enough, a beautiful swooshing came over the monitor. “There’s a baby!” the doctor smiled and moved the doppler around this way and that to find the other one. I remembered how difficult it was to see the other twin on the ultrasound, so I was less worried this time. But, another swooshing came over the monitor. It was so incredibly fast, I thought the doppler was picking up both babies at the same time. “Nope, that’s just one baby,” the doctor explained. Turns out, one baby’s heartbeat was around 140-150 and the other was more like 160-170.

It’s SO a boy and a girl.

Bug Update (or Potty Training Frustration):

Can someone please tell me why this kid won’t poop in the potty?! It is so dang frustrating and disgusting, to say the least. I don’t have any idea what to do to help him “get it” that it isn’t okay to poop in your pants. Ugh.

Bean Update (or Potty Prodigy):
Bean is her usual silly self. She, oddly enough, has pooped on the potty twice in the past week, despite the fact that she’s only 16 months old. I am so taking her potty training interest and running with it! I would much rather not have three in diapers come August/September.

Turk Update (or Working Hard for the Money):

Tax season is in full swing and Turk is working his booty off. He has been wonderful, helping me out when he gets home and letting me just pass out on the couch while he gets the kids ready for bed and cleans up the dishes and laundry. I don’t know how I snagged this one, but he’s a keeper.

Me Update (or Somebody Call the Waaaah-mbulance):

Though I have about one day of relief a week, I am still dealing with morning sickness and exhaustion. I’m worried that after I’m through this phase, I’m going to be ruined for ginger, ginger ale, crackers, bagels, cream cheese, and all the other stuff I have been living off of, for the rest of my life! To add to my attempt at morning sickness relief, I picked up some Preggie Pops at Babies ‘R Us. First of all, one of the flavors was Lavender. I’m sorry, but if saltine crackers are barely appealing to me, Lavender is far from appealing. Ew. Even the other flavors, though tasty, were not effective. Ah well, looks like I’ll have to keep trying new things until I’m over the morning sickness or until I find something that works.

Other than that, things are going pretty well. We have had some bumps in the road the past week, but nothing we can’t overcome. I’m so glad we have a number of months before the twins are born, so we can save up money and really be prepared. They had better not try to come super early, dog gone it. *wink*

Man, has today ever been one of those days. I should have seen it coming, after all with my morning sickness and Don’t mess with Mommy, she’s exhausted-ness the past two (plus) weeks, it would be strange if everything didn’t come to a nasty head at some point. Today was the day it all broke loose.

Bug is testing me like never before today. I’m sure he’s crabby from not getting enough sleep this weekend, and being cooped up in the house for days on end with a lame Mommy who can barely stand to make lunch, let alone do fun crafts and play. Today, I put Bug in time out three times before Noon. He had five spankings before Noon.

After Noon, it didn’t get much better. He’s into this thing, where I tell him to do something, and he decides to try to spit at me, kick at me, scream bloody murder, and otherwise turn into a holy terror. Today was the mother of all holy terror days and I feel like a majority of the day has been getting upset with him. It’s so frustrating.

A big part of what is getting him in trouble today is his use of the word “stupid.” He first learned this word from Jim Carrey’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas where he’s talking about Christmas and pointing at the Whos saying “Stupid, stupid, stupid!”  We stopped watching The Grinch when Bug started saying this word, but still, it has stuck with him. He says it mostly when he gets frustrated. I have tried talking calmly to him, telling him that we don’t use that word, that if he’s frustrated, he simply needs to ask for help and I would be happy to help him. I have also tried getting upset with him about it, like today, which only results in him sitting in time out, spitting and yelling “STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!”

After he has it out of his system and I have ignored him long enough for him to realize that it doesn’t work on me, he is falling over himself with apologies. Big huge hugs and “I’m sorry Mommy”s, everything to make my heart melt. But then, an hour later, he’s back at it again.

Aaaaarrrrghhh!!!

I don’t want my kid to be that kid who says naughty words in class! I suppose he could be saying worse things, goodness knows I have let a few zingers slip by accident in his presence, but still. He’s a nice boy, he shouldn’t be calling things or people stupid. That’s just stupid, erm, I mean silly!

If there is a silver lining to this situation (and there always is, if you look hard enough), I am actually not feeling as crummy today as I have been. Last Monday I felt pretty good too, I wonder if there’s something with the development of the babies that gives me a bit of a reprieve once a week. Granted, at five o’clock this morning I was crouched in front of the toilet trying to make myself throw up, just so I could feel better, which never happened. Fortunately, as the day has gone on and I have more food in my stomach, that seems to have gotten better.

In other news: The blog looks different, huh? Well, after much stalling on my part to switch over to the required universal Today.com theme, I finally gave in and did it, since it’s going to be switched soon anyway. It’s not as clean looking as my other theme, for which I apologize, but I will tweak it here and there to get it looking as purdy as I can with what I have control over. If anyone has an idea for a banner that would be snazzy (to replace the shooting stars), let me know!

On Friday, January 30th, The Early Show on CBS interviewed Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate + 8. At the beginning of the interview, one of her daughters (Alexis) can be seen pushing her brother and otherwise acting naughty. In response, Kate politely asked the interviewer to hold on for a second while she leaned over, took hold of Alexis’ shoulder, and sternly told her to stop misbehaving. (To see the video of this interview, click here .)

There is some controversy surrounding Kate Gosselin’s little parenting tactic. Many will argue that Kate grabbing her daughter’s shoulder was too harsh and therefore bad parenting. They also look down on Maggie Rodriguez’s response to the action, where she applauded Kate Gosselin for her seemingly effective shoulder grab. (I say “seemingly effective” because at the end of the interview, Kate scolds Alexis again and gives her the mother of all “Mommy death looks.”)

Was Kate too harsh on Alexis during the interview? Personally, I don’t think so. Now, I’m not for abusing your kids at all, but if you watch how Kate grabs her shoulder, it isn’t with a death grip, but strong enough to make a point. She doesn’t hold on and squeeze her daughter, she lets go with a warning to behave. By all appearances, Alexis deserved the discipline she received. She was tormenting her brother and simply being a stinker. Maybe to some people this wouldn’t warrant such a response from Kate, but there’s something else to consider in this situation: We have no idea what Alexis was doing or saying before the interview. For all we know, she was a holy terror all morning long and this was simply the last straw for Kate.

As for Maggie Rodriguez’s response to Kate grabbing her daughter’s shoulder? What else was she supposed to say? Even if she disagreed with the action, she can’t say so during a live interview! It is my personal opinion that Maggie Rodriguez did an excellent job of pulling off an otherwise distracting and difficult interview.

Although I think Kate Gosselin can be a bit of a you-kn0w-what, especially to Jon, I find her to be extremely inspirational. On days when I feel as though I cannot handle my two children, I think of Kate chasing after eight children. Whose life is more crazy? Uhm, hers. I can guarantee I would be a bit bitchy too, if I were in her shoes.

There’s something you should know about me: I possess a tremendously sick gutter brain. Say anything that could even remotely be construed as sexual and my brain will go there. Fortunately, I married my gutter brain equal, Turk. The other night, while we were lying in bed, we started talking about kid’s songs that could be really dirty if you think about the lyrics. Seriously! Check it out:

Handy Manny

“Hop up jump in, don’t move to slow!”

“Bend and twist, just like that. We work together, we work together now!”

The Little People Movie (a.k.a. the dumbest video ever created and I hate hate hate it)

“Discovering morning, discovering sun, discovering there’s room for everyone.”

Or, my favorite:

“Discovering horses, and giraffes too. Discovering me, and discovering you.”

I told you I had a gutter brain!

As if The Little People Movie wasn’t bad enough, Bug has a Little People toy that sings when you push on the driver. Of course, to me, that sounds sick too:

“Up and down down and up… up and down and round and round!”

I don’t know if it’s my mind’s own defense mechanism for having to hear this annoying crap all day long, or if I really need to seek mental help.

It doesn’t stop at lyrics. Oh no. Check out this hammer that goes with the Playskool Poundin’ Bedbugs toy (and I will ignore the “poundin’” part of the name of the toy for now):

Tell me this does not look like a man’s, ahem, “hammer” and “bolts”:

It’s even circumcised!

I may be a sicko, but come on. That has to look like a penis to everyone else.

So, there you have it. The cat’s outta the bag. Lindsay is a dirty-brained girl. I’m okay with it though. Keeps me sane.