Silly Mom Thoughts

There’s something you should know about me: I possess a tremendously sick gutter brain. Say anything that could even remotely be construed as sexual and my brain will go there. Fortunately, I married my gutter brain equal, Turk. The other night, while we were lying in bed, we started talking about kid’s songs that could be really dirty if you think about the lyrics. Seriously! Check it out:

Handy Manny

“Hop up jump in, don’t move to slow!”

“Bend and twist, just like that. We work together, we work together now!”

The Little People Movie (a.k.a. the dumbest video ever created and I hate hate hate it)

“Discovering morning, discovering sun, discovering there’s room for everyone.”

Or, my favorite:

“Discovering horses, and giraffes too. Discovering me, and discovering you.”

I told you I had a gutter brain!

As if The Little People Movie wasn’t bad enough, Bug has a Little People toy that sings when you push on the driver. Of course, to me, that sounds sick too:

“Up and down down and up… up and down and round and round!”

I don’t know if it’s my mind’s own defense mechanism for having to hear this annoying crap all day long, or if I really need to seek mental help.

It doesn’t stop at lyrics. Oh no. Check out this hammer that goes with the Playskool Poundin’ Bedbugs toy (and I will ignore the “poundin’” part of the name of the toy for now):

Tell me this does not look like a man’s, ahem, “hammer” and “bolts”:

It’s even circumcised!

I may be a sicko, but come on. That has to look like a penis to everyone else.

So, there you have it. The cat’s outta the bag. Lindsay is a dirty-brained girl. I’m okay with it though. Keeps me sane.