Silly Mom Thoughts

On my birth board many women are discovering if their uterus residents are sporting cheeseburgers or hot dogs. It’s such an exciting time, seeing posts that joyfully announce, “It’s a boy!” or “It’s a girl!” and the following congratulatory messages from fellow board members.

Then, there are the occasional few who, instead of excitedly announcing the sex of their baby, mention that they’re upset they didn’t get the flavor they wanted.

That pisses me off.

Okay, back up, before you get mad at me. I’m not saying that it isn’t okay to be a little disappointed if you were really hoping for one or the other. A little disappointment is one thing. Many people want a boy and a girl, and are a little bummed when they end up with all boys or vice-versa. A little bummed is not what I’m talking about. A few moments of, “Dang, I was hoping for a girl” is not a big deal.

What is a big deal, is when people go into full-blown fits of grief over the fact that their family isn’t going to be exactly the way they always pictured it.

Do you know how many people on this earth would kill to be in your shoes right now? How many people would be more than happy to have a family of all girls, just so they could have their very own family?

It is so immature and so selfish, in my opinion, to be disappointed by the gender of your child. When you got pregnant, you weren’t guaranteed a certain sex (no, not even if you did the deed at a certain point in your cycle, stood on your head afterward, and then danced a jig). You went into pregnancy knowing full well that was is a 50/50 chance that you would get the sex you “wanted.”

From what I have seen on the birth boards, many of these moms “suffering” from gender disappointment are first timers. This makes me giggle in an evil little way. In my mind I’m thinking, “Well, get used to things not going the way you planned them, honey. You’re a mom now, that’s how it works.” If you can’t even deal with the fact that your child isn’t the “right” sex, you are going to have some serious problems adjusting to motherhood.

Lesson number one in parenting: You don’t have control over everything anymore.

Yep, sure you’re the parent and what you say goes… but that doesn’t work for things like determining your baby’s gender, deciding on when you’re going to go into labor, or even how your labor will go (no matter how much you hash out your birth plan). And those are all things that happen before the baby gets here. When they’re here, there’s even less you have control over. Like how much spit up your little cherub decides to decorate your shirt with merely moments before you were supposed to walk out the door. See what I’m talking about?

So, some advice for those of you severely disappointed in the gender of your baby: Get used to not being in control of everything now. It’ll save you a whole lot of grief later.

Having spent far too much time incapacitated, lying on the couch this week, I have had the opportunity to watch quite a few infomercials. My favorite is the cool one for the Cricut, that super neat paper cutter thingie that cuts out all these awesome shapes and stuff. I have gotten the chance to use one, and it really is as cool as the infomercial says.

But I digress…

Have you seen the infomercials for Your Baby Can Read?!

Rediculous.

Ludicrous.

A big, fat, ugh.

If you haven’t seen the Your Baby Can Read infomercials, here’s the jist:

Buy this pack of resources that includes flash cards, DVDs, and other crap, show it to your kid, and soon your 16 month old will be reading words and associating them correctly. By age three, they’ll be able to read big words (but, in reality, probably not know what they mean).

Gimme a freaking break, people!

Why, on God’s green Earth, does your baby need to read?

They will learn to read. Seriously, they will be taught to read in school. (At least last time I checked. Or, did they take “reading” out of school since I was last there?)

By all means, read with your kids. Interact with them. Pretty soon, you’ll find your three year old “reading” the words on the page of the book you read night after night. (Really, they’re just associating the pictures to the words they have memorized, but that’s a first step to reading!)

But please, don’t make them grow up faster by strapping them into a highchair or carseat and forcing them to look at stupid flash cards all day long. That has to be some kind of abuse.

Another thing I found absolutely absurd about the Your Baby Can Read infomercials are the company’s claims about why you should be teaching your baby to read.

It claims that your child will be more successful later in life.

Mmm kay, yeah. Because I’m pretty sure Bill Gates and Donald Trump learned how to read when they were two years old.

One preschool teacher claims that when she showed it to her “less privilaged” students, they learned more than they could have otherwise. Therefore, they are more likely to stay on this path of success.

I’m not even going to touch that one. I hope, for the children’s sake, that comment is true. But, I will guarantee that their future success and moving beyond being “less privilaged” has less to do with Your Baby Can Read and more to do with how they are nurtured throughout their early years and beyond.

So, my babies can’t read, but you wanna know what they can do?

They can bang the crap out of pots and pans. (Future drummers?)

They can make a super long Play-Doh snake. (Future sculpters?)

They can run really fast, jump really high, and not stop moving until waaay after bedtime. (Future Olympians?)

They can scream crazy super loud. (Future singers?)

And…

They can make me laugh harder than nearly anyone alive. (Future comedians?)

At any rate, I love my “dumb” kids that enjoy running around, giggling, and playing all day long. I love that they enjoy letting me read to them, and don’t hog the book to try and prove how smart they are. But most of all, I love that my kids are still kids. They have plenty of time to grow up and get super crazy smart. I’d like to cherish these sweet, silly times as much as I can right now.

First of all, how come I can’t have a cool nickname like “Octomom?” It sounds like some sort of cool super hero, half-mom, half-octopus. “Stand back, children, Octomom will squirt ink all over these bad guys!” That oughta show ‘em. Truthfully, she would probably get great use out of eight appendages, if she had them.

I propose that my new nickname should be Quattro Mom. Fantastic Four-Under-Four. Super Slacker Mom. Hmm, that has a ring to it.

Anyway, on with Octomom. She is all the media rave lately and everyone seems to have an opinion about her. Most of it, I must say, I agree with.

Too Many Eggs

First, of course, is the initial controversy that gave Nadya Suleman the cool Octomom nickname in the first place: the egg drop. Can someone tell me why, even in an ethical setting, it is necessary or even advisable to implant more than two or three eggs in a woman’s uterus? Maybe I’m simply not schooled in the ways of in vitro fertilization, but it seems to me that any more than that is irresponsible and unneccessary. I realize that when that many eggs is implanted, the mother understands that selective termination may be necessary and that Octomom chose not to selectively terminate any of her children. Was that rational? No. But, I can’t say I would want to, either. How can you say, “Yeah, okay, get rid of a few of them” without always wondering “What if?” I think the whole situation should be avoided by not implanting that many eggs in the first place.

The government in my uterus?

  + = ?

There have been discussions about whether the government should step in and take control of these excessive multiple birth situations. Personally, I don’t want the government to have any say in anything that goes on with any woman’s body, especially where reproduction is concerned. I do, however, think that we could stand for some regulation on the doctors doing the in vitro fertilization, a lean on them to be more ethical in their practices. I think it’s safe to say, because I am definitely not the first to say it, that the Octomom shouldn’t have been implanted with one egg, let alone six.

No one’s lips are naturally that huge.

Then, of course, is the whole Octomom plastic surgery controversy. Oh heck-to-the-yes did she have plastic surgery done, have you seen pictures? Personally, I could care less if you have plastic surgery done. Your body, your choice. But, to spend tens of thousands of dollars on an unnecessary surgery, when you have six kids at home and are struggling financially? Not okay. I think that it may be a stretch on the media’s part, however, to assume that Nadya Suleman is attempting to be and look like Angelina Jolie. There are few things I’m on Octomom’s side about, but this is one of them.

Lies, lies, lies

The Octomom simply must have a few nuts loose if she thinks she can lie in this day and age and get away with it. Did she learn nothing from Bill Clinton’s, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” statement that came back and bit him in the ass? Nowadays you can find out anything about anyone. What kind of groceries they buy at the grocery store, how much they spend on their mortgage. Heck, with the help of Facebook and MySpace, you can even learn that “I have a splitting headache” on Friday or “Cup ‘O Noodles is the greatest meal ever” on Tuesday. (Yeah, so those were a couple of my own Facebook updates recently.)

The point is, you can’t lie. Especially about something so find-out-able as being on government assistance. Octomom obviously has a thing or two to learn about being in the public eye.

Should the babies go home with her?

(Note: This is not a pic of an Octobaby.)

Wednesday, it was leaked out that the hospital where the Octobabies are still staying may not release the babies to her care. According to Yahoo! News, Octomom called Dr. Phil McGraw upset and revealed to him that unless she can prove she will provide a “better living arrangement, that they are not likely to release the children to her.”

Okay, first of all, I want Dr. Phil’s number! She gets a cool nickname and Dr. Phil on speed dial? No fair.

Second, I’m all for the hospital making this call. Of course, it’s in the best interest of the Octobabies, considering Octomom’s house is close to foreclosure, there are eight of them, all preemies, and she has six other children at home. In the Yahoo! article, it mentions that evaluating parents of preemies is a common practice and if they see an issue, they contact CPS. Good! I’m glad! And not simply in this case, but in every case. If you aren’t able to provide a safe, stable living environment for your children, you shouldn’t be bringing them home. You have nine months of pregnancy, sometimes a little less, to figure out what you’re going to do to get your butt prepared for your child. I am certain that CPS is called only in the most extreme of cases, and it is to put the child’s best interest at heart. Way to go, Octohospital. You rock.

Octomom, porn star?

It was released yesterday by Fox News that Vivid Entertainment approached Nadya Suleman to do a porno. They wanted her to get jiggy with eight guys in eight different scenes for a whopping $1 million. Um, eww. Fortunately, Octomom declined, citing her baby fat as an excuse.

Seriously, you do not want to see any woman naked post-pregnancy with one child, let alone eight. It is not a pretty sight. Loose skin and stretch marks abound. Think: elephant butt. I wonder if Octomom is going to have plastic surgery on her tummy too? Nah, she couldn’t be that dense. Could she?

To give or not to give, that is the question.

There once was a time when people poured out their hearts and wallets to families welcoming large number multiples. They were showered with diapers, bottles, hired help, clothing, money, anything and everything that the family would need. I think that ship has sailed for our society, especially after this Octomom controversy. Though people’s hearts go out to the Octobabies, they are suspicious of the mother and completely distrust her ability to make decisions. This, in turn is causing many people to opt not to donate cash to Nadya Suleman’s fund. I think if and when this happens in the future, people will be much more suspicious and less likely to help out. Now, instead of it being an “Oh, poor you” mindset toward the families, it’s more of a, “Wow, you’re really irresponsible” frame of mind.

In all, I wish the best for the Octobabies, in their health and well-being. I hope that they can grow up to be upstanding citizens. I hope that they are well taken-care-of and never in need of love and attention. They deserve that so much.

On Friday, January 30th, The Early Show on CBS interviewed Kate Gosselin of Jon & Kate + 8. At the beginning of the interview, one of her daughters (Alexis) can be seen pushing her brother and otherwise acting naughty. In response, Kate politely asked the interviewer to hold on for a second while she leaned over, took hold of Alexis’ shoulder, and sternly told her to stop misbehaving. (To see the video of this interview, click here .)

There is some controversy surrounding Kate Gosselin’s little parenting tactic. Many will argue that Kate grabbing her daughter’s shoulder was too harsh and therefore bad parenting. They also look down on Maggie Rodriguez’s response to the action, where she applauded Kate Gosselin for her seemingly effective shoulder grab. (I say “seemingly effective” because at the end of the interview, Kate scolds Alexis again and gives her the mother of all “Mommy death looks.”)

Was Kate too harsh on Alexis during the interview? Personally, I don’t think so. Now, I’m not for abusing your kids at all, but if you watch how Kate grabs her shoulder, it isn’t with a death grip, but strong enough to make a point. She doesn’t hold on and squeeze her daughter, she lets go with a warning to behave. By all appearances, Alexis deserved the discipline she received. She was tormenting her brother and simply being a stinker. Maybe to some people this wouldn’t warrant such a response from Kate, but there’s something else to consider in this situation: We have no idea what Alexis was doing or saying before the interview. For all we know, she was a holy terror all morning long and this was simply the last straw for Kate.

As for Maggie Rodriguez’s response to Kate grabbing her daughter’s shoulder? What else was she supposed to say? Even if she disagreed with the action, she can’t say so during a live interview! It is my personal opinion that Maggie Rodriguez did an excellent job of pulling off an otherwise distracting and difficult interview.

Although I think Kate Gosselin can be a bit of a you-kn0w-what, especially to Jon, I find her to be extremely inspirational. On days when I feel as though I cannot handle my two children, I think of Kate chasing after eight children. Whose life is more crazy? Uhm, hers. I can guarantee I would be a bit bitchy too, if I were in her shoes.

First of all, about last night’s election, can I just say “WOW?”

I sat on my couch, absolutely awe struck by the elation, frustration, disappointment, and sheer excitement that I saw played out on my TV screen last night. I have watched a few elections in my day, but none of them were as super-charged as this. And rightfully so! Our first black president? Neat-o.

I must admit, I was on the edge of my seat when they announced that Obama would make an appearance at any moment. The cameras panned over the hundreds of thousands of celebrating people gathered in that Illinois park. I saw the raw emotion coming from people of every race. In the back of my mind, I worried that some psycho lunatic would go crazy and start shooting up the place. I know, not a nice thought to have at all, but it has happened before, hasn’t it?

I was the most concerned when the announcer said, “Please welcome the next first family of the United States.” This was when the mom in me came out.

Woah, they’re going to bring out his kids too? I thought, heart beginning to race. It was then, I prayed.

God, please don’t let some crazy person be there right now. Please keep the Obama family safe.

I watched as Obama, holding his daughter Sasha’s hand, walked on stage. Michelle Obama and oldest daughter Malia walked close behind.

Please keep them safe, I continued, and then, Goodness, Obama’s girls are adorable.

I was on edge the entire time the Obama family was on stage. Finally, I breathed a sigh of relief when Michelle escorted the girls offstage and Obama was left to give his acceptance speech.

Regarding Obama’s acceptance speech… I was a little disappointed. I can only imagine how exhausted Obama must have been, and maybe even a little in shock at the situation, but honestly I was hoping for a little more fire from him. A little more oomph. I must say, though, I would not want to be in Obama’s shoes. He is holding on his shoulders people of all races, representing them and speaking for them, much more so than any other president who has come before him. That is enough pressure to make me wanna crawl in a hole and suck my thumb for a week.

There were three parts of Obama’s acceptance speech that did stick with me though. The first, about the unity of our country, and how we are so much more than a nation divided:

“It’s the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America.”

Woo, I have shivers just reading that. The next thing that inspired me was how he came to this point, to winning the election, despite the fact that he was never expected to do so:

“I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. We didn’t start with much money or many endorsements.  Our campaign was not hatched in the halls of Washington - it began in the backyards of Des Moines and the living rooms of Concord and the front porches of Charleston.”

Finally, I had to give a silent, “You go, Obama” when he said this:

“Let us resist the temptation to fall back on the same partisanship and pettiness and immaturity that has poisoned our politics for so long… And to those Americans whose support I have yet to earn - I may not have won your vote, but I hear your voices, I need your help, and I will be your President too.”

I don’t personally believe that Obama winning the election means that the world is automatically a better place. I don’t believe it will end racism. I do, however, believe that it is one step. One step toward accepting people for who they are and what they can do, not for what they look like. I am so proud to be an American today, after hearing all of the statistics about record numbers of voters coming out to make their voice heard. I am proud to raise my children in a country where you don’t have to come from a rich political background to become president; you don’t have to be a nasally old white guy to live in the White House. I’m excited for what is yet to come.

Don’t let me down, Obama, I have high hopes.

I feel like I’m getting really old. Suddenly, things like politics, the news, and retirement planning are exciting to me. Last week I even found myself looking at an elderly woman pushing a walker and thinking, “Wow, that’s a pretty fancy walker. How cool!”

(You think I’m kidding, don’t you? I’m totally serious!)

So, being the old person I am, I am wicked excited about the election today. Although I have not yet stepped foot outside of my house, I can just feel the buzz of excitement over this 2008 election. Did anyone catch Saturday Night Live’s Presidential Bash 2008 last night? It was a collection of the best of the 2008 election spoofs, as well as some clips from past elections.

If you missed SNL’s Presidential Bash 2008, check out this video clip of Will Farrell playing his ever-endearing George W. Bush, along with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin, and Darrell Hammond as John McCain.

My favorite line, as McCain is trying to escape Bush’s grasp: “A vote for John McCain, is a vote for George W. Bush… You’re welcome.”

Aaahhh, I miss the SNL days of Tina Fey, Darrell Hammond, and Will Farrell. Good times, good times.

But I digress… Where was I?

Oh right, excitement over the election.

I will be one of the bazillion people throughout the US glued to my TV tonight. To be quite honest, it doesn’t matter to me who wins the election. I voted, I did what I could (although it probably doesn’t matter since the electoral college runs our elections anyway).

I’m excited to see the reactions on both sides of the spectrum. For instance, there are some completely crazy people who are convinced that Obama is the Antichrist. These fear mongering folks believe that if elected, Obama will end the world. I’m interested to see what these people will do if he does take office. More importantly, I want to know exactly what they’re reaction will be when they see that the world didn’t cease to exist. (Turk brought up a good point about this. “If Obama truly was the Antichrist, he wouldn’t need to become president to destroy the world.” Smart man, my husband.)

On the other side, I’m interested to see people’s reactions if McCain is elected. There are individuals who strongly oppose McCain who believe that the US as we know it will end if he takes office. Yeah, okay.

Do people seriously believe that the president has all-power on the government? Do they not realize that there are checks and balances put into place to ensure that the president does not make all of the decisions for the government. Come on people. Seriously.

So, no matter who wins the 2008 Election, it’s sure to be fun to watch the nation’s reactions.

Speaking of a buzz of excitement, did everyone get their free tall brewed Starbucks coffee for voting today?

 Happy Election 2008 Day from me to you!

I have had this blog floating around in my head for quite some time now, unsure of when or how to post it. With the impending presidential election and the subsequent hot button issues being hashed over repeatedly, I figure now is a better time than any. I don’t intend for my blog to touch on a whole lot of controversial topics, but I feel like I need to get this out there. So, be prepared for this blog, as the subjects I touch on will be abortion and same-sex marriage. I think that what I’m about to say may surprise even my closest friends!

Alright, let’s just get this out there: I am Pro-Choice.*

Allow me to explain the purpose behind the asterisk.

As for myself, my morals, and my beliefs, I am Pro-Life. I cannot fathom a situation where I would choose to abort my child. I know what a blessing children are, and I am in a stable, loving relationship where I know I can nurture and raise wonderful children. For me, abortion is not okay. For me, it is killing a life. The second I saw each of my little baby’s heartbeats on that ultrasound, I knew that life existed long before a baby was even shaped. For me, I am Pro-Life.

But it is not up to me, or anyone else to tell a woman what is right for her. It is not up to the government to tell a woman who has been the victim of rape or incest that she must carry that child to term. It is not up to the government to decide what actions a woman takes with her body.

I know a handful of women who have had abortions. I also know that they grieve the loss of their child even decades later. I know that they wonder constantly, “What if.” If you are willing to have an abortion, you have to also be willing to live with the “What ifs” that will plague you for the rest of your life. But ultimately, that is the woman’s decision. Not mine, not yours, not the government. As far as the government’s involvement in a woman’s body is concerned, I am very much Pro-Choice.

Okay, that wasn’t so bad, was it? On to the next topic.

I am For Same-Sex Marriage*

Again, with an asterisk.

For me, for myself, my morals, my beliefs, I would not marry a woman. But who am I to decide that it isn’t okay for two people who love each other to get married? People constantly bring up the Bible in this situation and claim that a union between two same-sex individuals is wrong. Maybe so. But doesn’t the Bible also say in Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge, or you will be judged?” Who am I to judge a gay couple? Where do I get off acting like I am better than them because I’m heterosexual? As far as I’m concerned, homosexuality and same-sex marriage is between those individuals and God. God never asked me to point fingers or blame. As a matter of fact, I think He said quite the opposite when He said in the Ten Commandments, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Not only did He place this Commandment in His list of rules to live by, He also said to love your neighbor was one of the absolute most important of all of the Commandments (second only to “love the Lord”)! God didn’t say, “Love your neighbors as yourself… unless they’re gay.” Nor did he say, “Love your neighbors as yourself… unless they don’t act the way you think they should.” No. He just said to love them, because He loves them.

—-

It’s funny to me, when I get into conversations about gay marriage or abortion with fellow moms, they assume certain things about me. It is assumed that because I am a married woman, a Christian, and a mother, that I am against abortion and gay marriage. What’s interesting to me is that these factors in my life have made me even more open minded to gay marriage and abortion. Being pregnant is hard, giving birth sucks, and I couldn’t imagine being forced to decide whether I should keep my child or give it up for adoption. So, if a woman feels that her only choice is to abort her baby, then let her do it. Chances are, she’ll learn a lot about herself afterward and realize exactly what it means to have to live with such a serious decision. And as far as same-sex marriage? Some of the coolest, most generous, and loving people I know just so happen to be homosexual. What the heck is wrong with adding more love to the world, where there is otherwise so much hurt?

There’s my two cents on those hot topics. I’d love to hear your points of view. No judgment here, whether you believe strongly one way or another. I realize that my views are slightly contradictory, but that’s just the way I am.