Silly Mom Thoughts

I don’t know how I had the willpower to not find out Bean’s gender when I was pregnant with her. It must have been an act of God, some kind of supernatural power that possessed my body and allowed me to tell the ultrasound technician (not once, but twice), “Please don’t tell me what I’m having.”

This time, all of the willpower I once possessed has left me completely and utterly impatient.

At my last appointment, my doctor said we’d wait to schedule and ultrasound depending upon the results of my Quad Screen. I waited. And waited. Aaaand waited. Finally, I called the office and the nurse casually responded, “Oh, no worries, it was all negative!”

Well, of course, that was good news, but, as I explained to her, I was also supposed to be getting a date for my ultrasound. My doctor had mentioned that he wanted me to have one between 18 and 22 weeks. She said she would call me back with a date, and I hoped it would be within the next week.

To my disappointment, she told me it wouldn’t be until May 1st.  That was almost three weeks! Bah.

But now, finally, May 1st is in reach. (You’d think I was a three-year-old with how long the past few weeks have felt!) Yet, each day goes by crawling like a sleepy slug. And, with each second that ticks by, I find myself worrying about the appointment.

Why am I such a worrier? Seriously, I need to get over this.

I have had silly worries, like the technician refusing to tell me the sex of the babies or the babies not cooperating.

Then, I have had more serious worries, like something being physically wrong with them, or worse, one of them not living anymore. I have worried that one of the babies is significantly larger than its twin, and the other one is struggling to survive.

So many worries wrapped up around these two tiny little buggers.

Fortunately, I’m feeling them move more than ever before. The interesting thing is that Lefty, who was my crazy wiggler before, is suddenly not as kick-happy, where as Righty is a little wiggle worm. I don’t know if they’re taking turns on who is the more active one, but it has me a little concerned that Lefty is okay. I’m trying to tell myself that maybe he/she has just moved to a different position that I can’t feel as easily, or maybe he/she is going through a growth spurt or something that has her sleeping more.

I dunno.

But, I do know I’ll feel much better on Friday when I can see them wiggling around and healthy. Would you consider sending good thoughts and prayers our way?

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