Silly Mom Thoughts

I had the most devastating, yet hilarious pregnancy dream last night. My dreams are normally pretty vivid, but wow, this one takes the cake. In this dream, I learned the true identity of the twins. Interested to know what they were? Let me tell you: it wasn’t human.

In my dream, I was in a room with several pregnant women all crouching over paper plates and grunting. I was excited because I was going to be able to deliver my babies vaginally, something I have never experienced. They were coming a little early, so I knew they’d be small, but I was shocked at how small they were. The woman next to me groaned and pushed. I stole a glance at her paper plate and there was her beautiful, tiny…

Chicken egg.

Yes, that’s right, we were all birthing chicken eggs. I suddenly felt the urge to push, and push I did. (I’m actually surprised I didn’t crap my pants in the middle of the night because I’m fairly certain I was pushing in real life too.). Out popped my first “baby.” I didn’t have time to get a good look before the second one popped out. Then, to my surprise, a third.

Finally, my body was done birthing and I got a chance to examine my little ones. It was apparent right away that the third had died much earlier in the pregnancy, it wasn’t developed at all. I was sad, but I was really only expecting two, so it wasn’t as devastating as what I found out next.

All around me, women were caring for their newly birthed eggs, some of the eggs had hatched into cute little fuzzy chicks. I thought, “Wow, I was really hoping for babies, but I suppose a healthy chick is better than nothing.” But then I got a good look at my little ones. My babies were not eggs or fuzzy birds like the others. They were miniature cooked chickens, skinned, probably boiled since they were so pale, and headless. They were, by my pregnancy dream standards, dead.

I carried their lifeless little cooked bodies in my hands and with enormous emotional effort, threw them in the garbage.

This was where my dream went from amusing to downright devastating.

I left the hospital with nothing but a saggy belly pooch. I kept thinking, “But I saw those babies on ultrasound and they were babies, not birds!” and then, “I was just feeling them kick last night!” No matter how much I tried to convince myself that this must be a mistake, the belly pooch and lack of movement said it all.

I fell to the ground screaming and crying in agony and grief.

“I can’t do this again! I can’t go through all of the morning sickness, vomiting, everything again! I should have my babies here now!”

Eventually, I picked myself up. A couple days later, I put on makeup and nice clothes and faced the world. A friend of mine said, “Oh, I knew you’d get over it quickly.” I burst into tears.

What kind of a pregnancy dream was that?! So silly, yet so heartbreaking at the same time. It was truly reassuring to feel both babies kicking this morning. Let’s just hope they’re babies and not chickens.