Silly Mom Thoughts

Not to get all Oprah-y on you, but I firmly believe in the idea that there are subtle knocks on the door of our lives, and when we ignore them they turn into louder knocks, only to become the door crashing down in front of us if we fail to answer.

I think I have reached one of those moments in my life.

This past August, I took part in my first-ever fiction short story contest. I was certain I was going to place. Too certain, in fact. Cocky beyond cocky. When the results day arrived and I hadn’t even placed, I was crushed, my ego blown to smithereens. I cried. Really, seriously cried both for shame over my blind self-centeredness and for sadness over putting so much of myself into a story, only to have it rejected.

Owie, was my ego ever bruised.

But, even to my own surprise, this rejection made me even more motivated to kick ass in the next contest. This time, I tweaked areas that I was told weren’t good. I focused on my story line and grammar. I reached out for help with critiques from my fellow forum members. This time, I truly appreciated the talent of the writers submitting to the contest and stifled my ego, choosing instead to remain cautiously optimistic. This time, I took first, then repeated the feat in the next contest.

Now, please know, this is not me bragging. The competition is fierce and I will never again underestimate my fellow writers. I’m simply saying that I am super duper motivated to continue trying, tweaking my stories, attempting new genres and themes that I had never thought to try before. I read the stories of fellow writers and am awed at the creativity that goes into their stories. I often find myself thinking, “Wow, I don’t think I would have ever, in a million years, thought of that.”

I digress (of course, because that’s what I do)…

Back to the knocking.

So, occasionally, often after these contests are over, individuals mention that they think I should write a novel. I smile, nod, and assume they’re just trying to be nice. I mean, me? The author of a novel? Pshyeah, okay.

But, I think each one of those suggestions was a subtle knock.

In January, I started working on my most recent entries, for The Past, The Present, and The Future. I wanted so desperately to continue writing those stories. I didn’t want to let my characters go, wasn’t quite ready for “The End” when I ran out of the alloted number of words. I wanted more. Truly, I wanted to write novels. Another, louder, knock.

Today, the knocking turned into fists pummeling my door. Today, three people, two from my writer’s forum and one former classmate friend, told me, “You should really write a novel” along with other wonderful, uplifting comments about my writing. Three people. Just today.

I think that’s a sign that maybe I should listen and open that door.

I have a novel in the works for pre-teens that I most definitely want and need to finish first. But then, I think I want to do something more adult, more like the short stories I have been writing. I know an idea will come to me, they always do, so I’m not worried about that in the least. I’m simply excited to get started and see where it takes me.

It’s funny, I always thought the idea of a short story with 7,500 maximum words sounded daunting and unattainable. Now, I reach 7,500 words and I think, “Dang, I have to stop?” It’s almost like these short story contests were half-marathons, training me, leading me up to the big marathon that I apparently need to be involved in.

I am so, so excited.

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