Silly Mom Thoughts

Okay, all you dream analyzers, help me out with the doozie of a nightmare I had last night. It really disturbed me both in my dream, and even after I awoke. It disturbed me so much, in fact, that I’m sitting here, still in bed, typing this blog out. So, this pregnancy nightmare is straight from my still groggy brain to you.

In my dream I was at the hospital and suddenly realized that I had birthed my babies and somehow hadn’t seen them yet. I wasn’t a patient or anything, either, which is weird, but hey, it was a pregnancy dream. I went up to the reception desk and explained that I had a baby and I wanted to see her. The lady smiled, found my chart, and said, “Oh, here we are! You had a little girl named Lylee. I’ll send for her.”

I looked at the lady like she was nuts. “Lylee?” I asked.

“Yes, that’s what we named her since you weren’t there,” the lady explained.

“Well, we’ll have to change that, my other daughter is already Lily. I don’t need a Lylee and a Lily running around!”

Soon, a large male nurse came, carrying my beautiful baby girl. She was perfect. I reached out to hold her and stopped, panicking. I turned to the receptionist.

“Wait, I had twins, where’s my other baby?” I shrieked at her.

The receptionist fumbled around with my paperwork for a while, checking, double checking, and shook her head.

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly, “You only had one baby.”

That was when I started hyperventilating. I knew I had two babies. There was no way I was only taking one of them home, perfect and beautiful though she may be. I collapsed to my knees and cried, screamed, gasped for air, and cried some more. I was making a tremendous scene.

The receptionist contacted my doctor who sent down some paperwork for me to read.

“Lindsay told us after Lylee was born that there should have been twins. I saw a possible tissue evidence that there had been twins at one time, but only one baby made it to term, the other was gone in the early weeks.”

I composed myself and left the hospital, though I don’t think they would let me take my baby girl with me. I drove down the road, heartbroken and exhausted from crying.

“And then there was one,” was my final thought, before I awoke.

***

Terrifying pregnancy dream, right?

There is only one explanation I can think of for it. This pregnancy, unlike my previous pregnancies, I have had very few dreams about the gender of the babies. The only other dream I had, in fact, was centered around a boy. In that dream, I knew there was another baby also, but the entire dream was focused around the little boy.

So, my only explanation is that this pregnancy dream was merely telling me that the other twin is a girl. Why the pregnancy dream decided it must be a pregnancy nightmare to get the point across is beyond me, but that’s honestly the only explanation I can think of, other than the horrible, unthinkable possibility that I really will only give birth to one baby.

If you love dissecting dreams, I’d love to hear your take on it. Oddly enough, though I was sad when I first woke up, the longer I am awake, the more excited I am for what I saw in my dream. This makes me think it wasn’t meant to be a dream of loss after all.