Silly Mom Thoughts

It’s funny, the number of things that go through your mind the second you find out you’re having twins. Having been through pregnancy twice now, I was prepared for the overwhelming number of questions, thoughts, and what ifs that would run through my mind initially. I wasn’t prepared about how many more I would have with the thought of twins. The first week or so after we found out seemed to drag on for eternity. Every day seemed to span an entire week, making the idea of being pregnant for 31 more weeks seem unbearable.

It occurred to me that the reason why time seemed to have stood still was because I was filled with questions, thoughts, and worries that are supposed to last me the entire pregnancy, not get resolved in a week. So, I decided to mentally pace myself and only think about something twin related once every few days.

First huge question: To find out the sex, or not to find out the sex of the twins.

We found out with Bug at about 20 weeks, and it was a little overwhelming calling everyone up and saying, “It’s a boy!” Plus, it seemed to make the rest of the pregnancy drag on forever and ever. (It didn’t help that Mr. Bug was apparently nice and cozy inside because he was almost 2 weeks late.)

We didn’t find out with Bean, and hearing “It’s a girl!” as she was being lifted from me was seriously one of the coolest moments of my life.

I really wanted to hold out this time too, even though most people find out with twins. But, the more we’re thinking about it, the more Turk and I are leaning toward finding out this time. Honestly, we do need to know if the babies are the same sex, because although I have some clothes for boys and girls, I definitely don’t have enough for two of the same sex. Plus, to prepare Bug and Bean, it would be nice to be able to say, “Your brother and sister,” or “Your brothers,” or “Your sisters” when we’re talking about the babies.

Even if we do find out, I absolutely flat out refuse to call them by their names until they’re born. Don’t ask me why, but that is such a weird pet peeve of mine. Actually, I think I do know why… Turk and I are so indecisive with names up to the very last minute, that I’d be afraid of calling the babies one thing during the pregnancy and change it to something entirely different after they’re born. I’m not prepared to commit to names until I see their little faces.

So, at this juncture, it appears as though we will be finding out. For the record, I seriously believe it’s either two girls or a boy and a girl (leaning more toward boy and a girl).

Second huge question: How am I going to breastfeed twins with two other small children who need me?

I know this one won’t be answered until I have the twins home and just figure it out, but I have started doing some research on my own. It looks like it will actually be easier to tandem nurse the twins, as opposed to putting them on separate schedules. I know that will probably be easier on my sanity too, so I’m not a milk factory all day long. I think I’m going to set up a special basket of goodies or movies that Bug and Bean can take out only when I’m nursing, so it’s their special treat while Mommy’s spending time with the twins. I’m hoping and praying that it works out, because I certainly don’t want to have to buy double the formula when I have already successfully breastfed two children. I know the girls work perfectly well, I want to put them to good use.

Other questions are stewing around in my brain like:

How can I wear twins? (Actually, I saw that the Ellaroo Wrap holds twins when they’re still pretty little. Unfortunately, that wrap runs around $75-100, so I’m going to have to save up my pennies.)

How will Bean adjust to the new babies? (I’m less worried about Bug, because he is older and understands more. The other day, he leaned down to talk to my belly and said, “Hi babies, we miss you!” Seriously, how lucky are these kids to have such a great big brother?)

Will I ever leave the house again? (Probably not.)

There are many, many more questions going through my mind, but I’m refusing to let them overwhelm me. I’m only ten weeks tomorrow, I have so much more time to worry. No sense in doing it all right now!