Funny thing about the Simonize… for the longest time, I thought it went like this:

Randy: Wow, a Zeppelin!
Dad: It’s a cannon, simon eyes.
(Like he was insulting Randy for not knowing what the toy was.)

It seriously wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized it went:

Randy: Wow, a Zeppelin!
Dad: A can of Simonize…

As for patenting the Santa Letter, you totally should. Kinda like how Paris Hilton tried to trademark “That’s Hot,” I think it’ll work out for you.

And, get this, the other day I looked over at my husband and said, “Ohh, a can of Simoniz!” And he looked at me like I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. I think I have every single line of that movie memorized. Last year I got the “Christmas Story” Board Game but haven’t met a viable competitor yet. So it sits on the shelf, waiting for me to play. I also got my very own Red Rider, but it doesn’t have a compass in the stock or this thing which tells time.

Every time I play with my Red Rider, I declare, “Ok, Black Bart, here’s yours!” And my husband looks at me like I have lobsters crawling out of my ears. Again.