Nov 08 2008
My Kids Are Possessed
Some awful demon has possessed my sweet little Bean. One minute she’s cute, squishy-nosed and laughing. The next minute, she’s a raging lunatic. God forbid you say “No” to her or take something away that she cannot have. The moment you commit such a foul crime against Her Toddlerness, her head spins in a circle and she dramatically throws herself to the ground. Unfortunately that is not the brunt of her wrath. After whacking her head on the ground during the course of her tantrum and growing even more angry from her self-inflicted injury, she stands up and spits at you. All the while, she’s screaming like a pissed off abominable snowman, arms flailing in attempt to hit you. (And not that cute abominable snowman from that claymation Christmas movie either. A really mean, ugly abominable snowman with razor sharp teeth and knife-like fingernails sharp enough to gouge your eyes out.)
Don’t believe me? Watch how Bean goes from kissy face to flipping out in just a matter of seconds:
Note: You need to have Flash installed to view the video!
Unfortunately, Bean isn’t the only one who has morphed into a terrifying, un-cute version of herself. Suddenly Bug has decided to jump on the bandwagon. Simple things, like “Please clean up your toys,” or “Don’t pick your sister up by her neck,” will turn him from silly preschool boy to ultra hormonal teenager in three seconds flat. My usually cooperative super-helper suddenly says things such as, “NO mama!” or “I CAN’T do it, NO!” To top it off, each statement is followed by mumbling in some other language. “NO mama! Mrrbsiiwsttsus.” (I don’t even want to know what that means, but I somehow get the feeling that he’s putting a curse on me.) And, while Bug has learned his lesson that hitting is not okay (unlike his abominable snowman sister), he still takes an air swipe every now and then.
At the very least, I can blame Bean’s behavior on the Wonder Weeks. If you are a mom of a baby or toddler and haven’t heard of the Wonder Weeks, you absolutely must check out that link. Basically, it tells how kids go through a cycle of fussy weeks where they’re about to achieve some developmental or physical milestone. It makes them all crabby and pissed off, like my own mini-teenagers. If nothing else, the idea that my kids’ behavior could be blamed on something other than them being possessed by otherworldly creatures, gives me piece of mind.
Next week, I tell myself, Next week will be better… right?
