Silly Mom Thoughts

Heather, a writing buddy friend of mine, has this cool blog called Unsent Letters where she writes letters to various people and establishments. They are an absolute hoot, you should check them out. I was inspired by her blog, and decided to try my hand at an unsent letter, this one to Starbucks Coffee. Let me know what you think.

Dear Starbucks,

Thank you so much for producing your amazing coffees in just enough variety so as not to confuse the crap out of me. Thank you also for making your coffee selections in normal flavors like “Vanilla Latte” or “Peppermint Mocha” instead of “Ice Storm” or “Chocolicious Christmas.” I truly appreciate the fact that I know exactly what I’m getting based on the name of the drink I’m ordering.

I also must thank you immensely for your seasonal favorites. Pumpkin Spice Latte,  Peppermint Mocha, Gingerbread Latte, and my all time favorite: Eggnog Latte. Thank you, Starbucks, for producing the most delicious Eggnog Lattes on the planet.

I must tell you, though: I have just one gripe about my Eggnog Lattes. I am fully aware that I order them “reduced fat.” As a result, you adhere to my order and mix in some nonfat milk with creamy delicious eggnog because, well, that’s how I ordered it. That’s great, but allow me to let you in on a little secret: I only order them “reduced fat” for my own guilt. When I ask for “reduced fat” what I really want is for you to accidentally go a little heavy handed on the eggnog and pour in just a drop of nonfat milk. Just do it, it’s what I truly want, but don’t tell me you did it, or then I’ll feel guilty for drinking such a fattening beverage.

While I drove home yesterday, with my first of many Starbucks Eggnog Lattes of the season in hand, I held the cup beneath my nose and inhaled its wonderful Christmas-y aroma. Let me tell you, the smell of that cup of coffee almost drowned out the smell emitting from a certain poop-logged diaper attached to a certain one-year-old riding in the back seat. Thank you for that. And Starbucks, thank you for these pretty Christmas cups that you put my Eggnog Lattes in. While they do serve as a slightly painful reminder of the approaching Christmas season and the fact that I have very little money to spend on gifts (because I’m spending all of my money on Eggnog Lattes, obviously), they are also a happy, cheery reminder of the wonderful season to come.

So thank you, Starbucks. Thank you for your delicious coffee, and for making me a complete, shameless Starbucks Coffee addict.

Here’s to you,

Lindsay “Eggnog-alicious” M.