Nov 03 2008
A Day With No Tantrums
I have said it before, but I will say it again… parenting my strong-willed, highly spirited toddler has frustrated and pushed me to near hysteria more than anything in my entire life. More than fights with my parents when I was a hormonal teenager, more than arguments and disagreements with friends, more than the many quarrels I had with my younger brother growing up.
To say the least, I was not prepared for the frustration I would feel when this child that I love so much looks up at me with those big blue eyes and screams, “NO Mama!” I wasn’t prepared for the anger I would feel when he would get so frustrated that he’d bite or hit me. I surely didn’t teach him to do these things, and never ever let him get away with it when he did, why would he behave this way? Why would my child, who I never let get away with tantrums, think that pitching a fit in the middle of the grocery store would be the perfect solution to get that bag of candy that he wants?
In these high-emotion, blood rushing to my head and beating in my ears situations, I wonder who exactly this spawn of the devil is, because he looks so much like this boy I once knew named Bug.
Bug just turned three in September. His vocabulary is increasing, which is partially a blessing and a curse, but for the most part, things seem to be getting a little easier with him. We definitely have our moments of frustration, but now that Turk and I are totally on the same page, discipline seems like old hat to us right now. All of a sudden, it is becoming apparent that all that frustration we dealt with from 18 months on, and all of the hard work we put into disciplining him and remaining consistent, is paying off.
Friday found Bug, Bean, and I at the grocery store early in the morning. It was Halloween, so there were all sorts of fun things to look at and candy everywhere we turned. I let Bug walk next to the cart, so long as he promised to hold on to the side. Wouldn’t you know that we were there for over 30 minutes and he listened the entire time? We spent a while in the toy aisle and he held this race car that he thought was pretty cool.
“Look-a Mama,” Bug said, holding up the car, “I need dat!”
“Wow, Bug, that is pretty cool,” I replied, “Maybe for Christmas, please go put it back.”
Do you know what he did?
He put it back.
I ’bout died in the middle of the store.
“Thank you for listening, Bug, that was a good job!” I exclaimed.
We continued on our way, this time venturing down the candy and pop aisle.
“Mama, I need candy!” Bug exclaimed.
“Hmmm, candy does sound delicious, Bug, but I bet we’ll get some candy tonight, so not right now.”
We kept walking. He didn’t whine, he didn’t fuss, he simply held onto the cart, like such a big boy. I didn’t promise him the candy or the toy, I only said maybe, and he still complied!
Next came the bakery. Bug knows there are free cookies in the bakery, but he also knows that we don’t get cookies every time we’re there.
“Mama, I need a cookie,” Bug said, looking up at me very seriously.
“Not this time, buddy,” I replied as we walked past the cakes, donuts, and cookies. I waited for the, “Maaaa! I need a cookie, now!” but it never came.
No whining, no tantrum, no fit!
Ladies and gentlemen: my little firecracker has started to listen. We’re doing something right after all!
Now, my days at the grocery store are not always this amazing, mind you. But, if I can have one day like this, every once and a while, a day where I realize that something Turk and I are doing as parents is effective, then it’s all I need. It makes me feel like if we really put in the effort to teach our kids how to behave now, that things may just be a little easier down the road.
