Silly Mom Thoughts

We had an all-out battle of wills with Bug yesterday, and boy was it a doozie. Recently, we’ve been having a big issue with getting this kid to eat. We have also been struggling with his new-found mini-teenager attitude. Both of these things came to a head yesterday. Before I get into the good stuff, a little background information.

1. I do not feed Bug snacks all day long. He gets a small snack between breakfast and lunch, and again in the afternoon. That’s it.
2. He does not drink juice or milk all day. He gets 2 cups of milk and one cup of juice, if we have juice (which we usually don’t). Once he has reached his milk/juice quota, he gets water for the rest of the day.
3. I do not serve him weird foods. We have normal kid stuff like chicken nuggets, noodles, sausage, hot dogs, mandarin oranges, pears, etc.
4. I do not believe in the Clean Plate Club. I will never force my kid to eat everything on his plate, BUT he does need to try a little bit of everything I give him.

Bug was invited to go to a birthday party on Saturday. It was going to be so cool. Good friends of ours have twins who turned 4 and the party was at movie theater where the kids and their parents would get to watch Bolt in 3D. Turk and I were really excited to take Bug to his first big screen movie and we had been pumping it up to Bug the whole week. He was quite excited too and kept talking about the party and getting to see his friends.

So, Saturday around 11am we all started getting ready. I made Bug a small lunch: two chicken nuggets and some mandarin oranges, one of his favorite meals. I made myself some lunch and we sat at the table and ate. Well, I ate. Bug did everything in his power not to eat, like he usually does. He hadn’t eaten much breakfast, so I knew he was hungry, and I knew that there would be popcorn and goodies at the theater and I wanted some real food in his stomach first.

“Bug, you have to eat before we can go to the party,” I said.

“I can’t!” Bug exclaimed.

“Bug, you don’t have to eat everything, but I want you to at least eat a little bit,” I explained.

After much coaxing, he downed the two nuggets.

“Good job Bug!” I said, “Now, eat a couple of slices of orange and we’ll be ready to go to the movie!”

“I can’t!” Bug yelled, slamming his fist down on the table.

Before I could think about the words I was about to utter, I said, “Bug, we can’t go to the movie until you eat a couple of slices of orange.”

Immediately, I cringed. I had set the stakes, and now I had to stick to them. Man, I hate that about parenting.

“No!” Bug replied, calling my bluff.

For the next twenty minutes, we had it out with our battle of wills. I went from furiously attempting to shove an orange slice into his mouth (not one of my prouder Mom moments), to sad, to disappointed, and finally, indifferent. Turk and I began loading up the car with all of our stuff (oh, did I mention this took place at Turk’s parent’s house where we stayed over Thanksgiving?) and loaded Bug into his carseat as well. The whole time, we were reminding him of the choice he was making.

“Hey buddy,” Turk reasoned with Bug, “You’re making the choice to not go to the movie with your friends, you know that right?”

“I can’t!” Bug repeated, as defiant as before.

“How sad,” Turk replied, “Going to the movies is so much fun! You’re missing out on a good time. That’s so sad.”

Then, it was my turn.

“I so hun-wee,” Bug complained from his carseat.

“You are?” I asked, shoving our belongings into the car, “Well, there are some oranges you can eat, and if you do, we can go to the movie!”

“I can’t!” Bug spat.

“I am very disappointed in the choice you are making right now, Bug,” I said, guilt-tripping him, “Mommy and Daddy were so excited about taking you to your first movie, and now you’re deciding not to go over 2 orange slices. What a sad decision.”

Bug grumbled. Turk came out with more of our stuff (I’m tellin’ ya, there was a ton) and I went back inside. I grabbed a fork and placed 3 orange slices on it (I added one more for all of the crap Bug was giving us) and walked back outside to the car. I held up the fork with the orange slices on it for Bug to see.

“See these orange slices, Bug?” I asked, “You are giving up a movie, popcorn, fruit snacks, juice, and cake just because you won’t eat these oranges? Are you really sure about that?”

“Nooo oran-gees!” he yelled, “I-go-hoooome!”

With a sigh, I returned to the house and fed Bean the oranges that Bug had found so atrocious. We called our friends and apologized that we wouldn’t be able to make it, and headed for home. Not 5 minutes into our car ride, Bug was fast asleep. He wore himself out with his fight, running away from us, hiding, yelling, all because he didn’t want to give in.

For an hour, we fought with Bug over those oranges. Normally, a fight about something would not go on that long, but we were in shock that he was about to give up the birthday party just because he wanted to win the fight. Plus, we really wanted him to eat the damn things so we could go to the movie. And, it took forever to load our stuff in the car, since we weren’t originally planning on loading up until we were back from the movie.

So, the battle of wills ended and we won.

On the car ride home, we questioned whether our punishment was too severe, whether we overacted to the situation. But it wasn’t about the oranges. It was about not eating when it’s time to eat. It was about him trying to have the upper hand. Two things we have been struggling with the past few months. They just all came to a head when the stakes were high and missing out on a birthday party was the consequence. The entire time, it seemed as if Bug was trying to call our bluff, disbelieving that we would possibly dole out such a harsh punishment as missing the birthday party. But, I said it, and we had to stick through with it, so we did.

I called Turk’s mom and asked her opinion on the situation. She assured me that we didn’t overact.

“It’s better to deal with it now,” she said, “Than when the stakes are higher, like homework or something else.”

She told me that she knew exactly how we felt, since she had a high spirited kid of her own. She said that it is good that Turk and I are strong-willed and don’t give in to Bug, because once we give in, it makes the next situation even more difficult to deal with. That was exactly what I needed to hear.

We arrived home and Bug was still sleeping. He continued to sleep for 2 more hours. Apparently, he really needed to sleep off that fight.

When he woke up from his nap, he apologized.

Hmm, maybe we’re on the right track.

Oh, my little Bug-a-Boo…

This kid says the most hilarious stuff, I have to share some of his recent best:

• While sitting at a stoplight next to a car that was giving off horribly smelly fumes, Bug says, “Peee-you, my nose stinks!”

• A couple of mornings ago, I picked Bug up to give him a hug. “Sommet smells yike poop!” he exclaimed, scrunching up his nose. “Is it my breath?” I asked breathing into his face (I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet that morning). “Yeah,” he replied, wriggling out of my arms to get away from me and my stench.

• Yesterday, Bug wasn’t feeling well at all (see yesterday’s post for further details). This morning, when he first popped his cheery little head into our room I asked him, “Hey Bug, how are you feeling today?” to which he merrily replied, “I happy!” Not exactly what I meant by “feeling,” but a way cuter answer than just, “good.”

I must say, though the threes are trying and difficult, they are also so exciting. It cracks me up when he comes up with these cute little responses to things going on around him. I can’t wait to hear what he comes up with next!

The home of Turk and Lindsay is hereby officially quarantined. If you do not wish to contract a nasty flu/cold bug, then I suggest you stay far, far away. Remember my silver lining , though? I got sick first and although I’m still not feeling 100%, I’m capable of handling the two sickie kids that are currently napping their germs away.

This morning, Bug was looking a little pale and was acting lethargic, so I knew something was up. It wasn’t until he spewed all over our living room floor numerous times in a row that I really got the point.

Note to All Parents: You need laminate flooring. Our newly installed floors payed for themselves today. I can’t even begin to imagine how long that puke stench would’ve lasted in carpet. Ew.

Funny note to my note: I called Turk this morning and told him I was so glad that we had installed laminate floors.

“Why is that?” he asked.

“Because Bug tossed his cookies on the floor a few times today. That would’ve been such a mess to clean out of carpet,” I replied.

“Where did Bug get cookies?” Turk asked.

“Turk, he threw up. There were no cookies, it’s a saying,” I replied.

Turk chuckled, “Okay, ‘cuz I was wondering where the cookies were and how come I didn’t get any.”

Leave it to Turk to make vomit funny!

A couple of hours after Bug’s spewing incident, Bean decided to evict her lunch from her stomach. Yum-o.

It never ceases to amaze me how indifferent I am to these otherwise completely disgusting situations. It’s like, the second your child enters this world, you immediately get this sheild of armor that protects your from finding things gross. Think about it, anything that comes out of your child’s body, no matter how vile, you step up. You clean the nastiness, comfort them, and clean yourself off without a second thought. Moms rock.

Hopefully we all caught this bug in enough time to be well by Thanksgiving. The kiddos aren’t running fevers, so that’s a good sign. We all had better be well by Thanksgiving or there’s gonna be some hell to pay. Ain’t no body gonna deny me my pumpkin pie and turkey. Not to mention, the early morning shopping the next day.

(Speaking of early morning shopping, I mentioned to my mother-in-law that I wanted to go early. Without hesitation, she said, “Sure! You just have to wake me up.” I love my super cool mother-in-law.)

This Friday marks the true beginning of the retail portion of the Christmas Season. At 4am, crazy women (and a few dragged-along men) will dawn their sweatpants and running shoes and shop until they drop… or go broke. To this day, I have not truly taken part in this shopping ritual. Although I have stepped foot inside a mall on Black Friday, it was well before I had any sort of an income to dispose of. Every year that Turk and I have been together, I have begged him to come early morning Black Friday shopping with me, but he has always vehemently declined.

“There’s no way in hell I’m going anywhere on Black Friday,” is his usual response.

But, being the socialite and sale-happy girl I am, I really want to go and see what all the fuss is about. I want to wake up way too early and fuel myself up on a Starbucks Eggnog Latte and shop my little booty off. Then, I want to sit back and people watch.

Does anyone else love sitting back in a crowded place and just watch as people go by?  I totally do.

Anyway, back to Black Friday shopping. I tried convincing Turk to shop with me this year, and again, he flat out refused. So, I called his mom whose response was, “Sure! I don’t have to work that day, why not?” That’s my kind of mother-in-law! (I’m not sure she realizes that I want to shop early though… we’ll see if her tone changes when I tell her that bit of information. Hee hee!)

I have been saving all of my writing income to be able to shop for gifts on Black Friday. I plan on hitting up Target and Kohl’s, among others. Where do you like to shop on Black Friday? Have you heard of any awesome deals that I should keep an eye out for?

I’d love any advice you can give me, as I have my Black Friday cherry popped this week! This time next week, I will no longer be a Black Friday virgin.

ETA: My friend Jesse just happened to write an AC article on this exact subject. If you would also like to see Where to Find Black Friday Ads Online, click the link!

I am so sick today.

Not horrible, bent over the toilet sick, thank goodness, but still sick. It’s a fever, chills, everything is fuzzy and my ears are plugged, over all yuckiness type of sick. Fortunately, today is Sunday, so Turk is home. I have been taking advantage of him being here and have snuggled up under the comforter and taken a nap at every possible moment. It has been glorious.

I was talking to a friend today and told her about my feverish state. She equated having a fever to posessing a “Get out of jail free” card. As a mom, when you’re simply feeling under the weather, you have to suck it up and deal with it. But, when you have a fever, you have to take care of yourself or you’ll just get sicker. You receive a free pass for the day to stick your kids in front of the TV and curl up in bed. You get to feed them popcorn for breakfast, french fries for lunch, and noodles for dinner. And, when the hubby is home, you get a valid reason to not have to change diapers or make meals all day long. Aaaaahhhhh.

Fortunately, I am the first in our household to get this lovely bug. This means that I will have it behind me when I am having to tend to Turk, Bug, and Bean if and when they get it. How convenient is that?! I mean, if we all have to get sick, at least I can get it first. There’s a silver lining to everything, I tell ya.

Now, lets just hope I’m feeling 100% better tomorrow because I’m on my own since Turk will be back to work. Thank goodness it’s a short week though!

Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle… (Where the heck did that saying come from?)

Remember that lil’ ‘ol short story contest I mentioned here and here?

Remember how I said I was excited to just make the semi-finals?

And then how lucky I felt to have simply made the finals?

Know what?

I won! I placed in the contest among some seriously talented writers. Not only did I place, I won first place…

Holy crap.

I do not envy the judges who had to hem and haw over these entries. The fact that they could even come to a decision of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd was, undoubtedly a feat unto itself. If it were me, I’d probably be of no help and have everyone tie for first place.  (Note: Do not ask Lindsay to judge your writing contests.)

Honestly, I am in shock right now. I don’t want to gloat, but I still am crazy excited at this opportunity. And, I am even more excited to try another contest next year and see if I can’t improve on some of the things in my writing that could use improving.

Turk is home from work today and was here when I opened Michy’s blog that announced the winners. I immediately commenced leaping around the room and the kids copied me, Bug yelling, “I won! I won!” I hugged Turk, he congratulated me, and then he left to run some errands while I called every person on my list of contacts that I had ever mentioned this contest to.

Turk came back a while later with this:

Pretty purple flowers and a Grande Reduced Fat Eggnog Latte.

I think I married the most wonderful man alive.

Thank you again for letting me go all writing-related with my blog, and for cheering me on this past week. Yay!

Allow me to preface this by saying, aside from moving on in the finals for the writing contest, this week is not going very awesome. The next person who complains to me that the twos are terrible, needs to take a few minutes and borrow my three-year-old ‘cuz I can tell you three is so much worse.

Today, I cleaned my little tail-feather off. I packed up clothes that the kids have grown out of, and pulled out clothes that have been handed down to us and fit them now. I organized toys and got rid of anything that was broken or would be good to go to charity. I organized all of the toys into three bins: one for blocks, one for cars and trains, and one for random other toys. Books were placed back on shelves.

I just put the kids in their respective napping rooms a little while ago. Not twenty minutes into “nap” time and I hear the familiar sound of blocks being poured out of the first bin. Then the cars, then the toys.

Tell me, exactly, what the heck is the point in ever cleaning and organizing when you have kids?

It’s not just toys either. Take the kitchen floor, for instance. I sweep it, I scrub it, and it looks awesome. One messy meal later (and to Bean, the sloppiest eater I have ever met, every meal is a messy meal), and the floor looks like something out of one of Oprah’s “Oh My Gosh, Look How Awfully Messy This Person’s House Is” specials.

Don’t even get me started on what it’s like to clean while kids are home…

Too late, I already got me started.

While I was cleaning my butt off today, organizing toys that would be spilled everywhere a short period of time later, my kids were in the living room, destroying it. I came out to find the couch cushions off, the couch pushed up against the wall the wrong direction, and popcorn strewn all over the place. A DVD was placed in the windowsill and chopsticks lay strewn about. (Yes, chopsticks.) When the kids got bored with wreaking havoc on the living room and wanted to know what Mommy was up to, they came back and started taking toys out of the bins I was putting them into.

Can someone tell me why a toy, that is never played with, is suddenly interesting when it is being put away or given to charity?

Bargh.

Frustrating, I tell ya. Frustrating. This is a big huge case in point why I don’t bother chasing my kids around and cleaning up after them all day. I’m pretty sure if I did that, I’d damn near go insane. Hats off to other moms that have the patience for keeping their houses spotlessly clean, though. I am truly amazed by you!

Remember that short story contest I told you about in my blog titled Growing as a Writer? I cannot tell you how psyched I was to make it to the semi-finals. My goal for this contest was to simply make it to the semi-finals level, that was it. I even stated in my blog “I am almost certain I will not make the finals” because the competition this time around was fierce.

Well, today we found out who the finalists were for the short story contest. Out of 30 entries (give or take), 19 moved on to the semi-finals. Today, 8 entries moved on to the finals.

Guess what?

I made the finals!

I nearly crapped my pants when I saw my number up on that list. Making the finals for this contest was above and beyond my hopes for success in this go-round. And, after reading through the other entries, some that made it, and some that were totally awesome, but didn’t make it, I feel like I have an even better grasp on how to write a great short story. I can’t wait for another opportunity to test out what I have learned from my fellow writers.

So Friday, I find out if I am one of the three winners of the contest. I am not trying to be humble here when I say again, I do not anticipate making it that far. I’m not kidding you, these entries are awesome. You’ll just have to see for yourself when the Accentuate Writers Anthology comes out early next year!

Wish me luck, and thanks for letting me go off-topic yet again.

Ever have those times where nothing out of your mouth sounds nice, no matter how nice you meant it to sound? Well, I’m having one of those days. I actually feel quite awful for anyone who crosses my path today for fear of the venom that may spew from my lips and blind their sight. I haven’t felt this way in quite a while. Normally, I’m a pretty even-keel kinda girl, but every once and a while… watch out.

The last time I remember feeling this way, I was supposed to go shopping with my mom, mother-in-law, and sister-in-law and have a great girly time. (Ladies, you know the shopping trips, where you grossly over use the word “cute?” “Isn’t this cute?” “Oh my gosh, look at how cute this is!” “Could this be any cuter?!”) I was in a horrible, foul mood and absolutely could not snap myself out of it. Like, I seriously hated everyone in my group, despite the fact that I actually love them all to pieces every other day. It was just messed up. At one point, I left our chick squad of shoppers and hunted down a Starbucks Eggnog Latte to see if that would help. Sure enough, a little caffeine in my system, and I was feeling better, though not totally the same.

Two weeks later, I found out I was pregnant with Bug.

*Gasp.*

Hold up…

Can I tell ya how awesome today is going? (Oh, how badly I wish you could read the sarcasm in that sentence.)

Bean has learned a new word today! Gone are the cute words like, “Mama,” “Dada,” and “Uh oh.” Today, Bean began saying the word, “No.” As a result, everything to Bean today is “No.”

For example:

“Hi Beany Baby, how are you?”

“No.”

Or:

“Lets eat some yummy macaroni and cheese, Bean! Your favorite. Mmmm.”

“Noooo.”

Or how about:

“Bean, does Mama have to do anything today, like laundry or dishes or clean?”

“Nooooooooo!”

That’s my girl.

What’s funny is that she has yet to use the word “No” in the correct context. She’ll say no to eating, and commence scarfing down her lunch. I’ll ask her if she wants to be held and she’ll say no, while her hands are in the air reaching for me. She’s a tad confused.

Bean isn’t the only one to learn a new word today.

I was moving a shelving unit from one room to the next and I managed to drop something and nearly smack myself in the head with it (I do not need any more head injuries, thank you). Under my breath, I muttered, “Sh*t.” Two seconds later, Bug stamps his foot down and retorts, “Sit!” but I knew he meant the word I just said. These kids have superhuman hearing capabilities, I tell ya.

So class, your new words are No and Sh*t. Be sure to run home and tell your Mommy and Daddy exactly what you learned from Ms. Lindsay today!

*Sigh*