Oct 27 2008
Slightly Contradictory
I have had this blog floating around in my head for quite some time now, unsure of when or how to post it. With the impending presidential election and the subsequent hot button issues being hashed over repeatedly, I figure now is a better time than any. I don’t intend for my blog to touch on a whole lot of controversial topics, but I feel like I need to get this out there. So, be prepared for this blog, as the subjects I touch on will be abortion and same-sex marriage. I think that what I’m about to say may surprise even my closest friends!
Alright, let’s just get this out there: I am Pro-Choice.*
Allow me to explain the purpose behind the asterisk.
As for myself, my morals, and my beliefs, I am Pro-Life. I cannot fathom a situation where I would choose to abort my child. I know what a blessing children are, and I am in a stable, loving relationship where I know I can nurture and raise wonderful children. For me, abortion is not okay. For me, it is killing a life. The second I saw each of my little baby’s heartbeats on that ultrasound, I knew that life existed long before a baby was even shaped. For me, I am Pro-Life.
But it is not up to me, or anyone else to tell a woman what is right for her. It is not up to the government to tell a woman who has been the victim of rape or incest that she must carry that child to term. It is not up to the government to decide what actions a woman takes with her body.
I know a handful of women who have had abortions. I also know that they grieve the loss of their child even decades later. I know that they wonder constantly, “What if.” If you are willing to have an abortion, you have to also be willing to live with the “What ifs” that will plague you for the rest of your life. But ultimately, that is the woman’s decision. Not mine, not yours, not the government. As far as the government’s involvement in a woman’s body is concerned, I am very much Pro-Choice.
Okay, that wasn’t so bad, was it? On to the next topic.
I am For Same-Sex Marriage*
Again, with an asterisk.
For me, for myself, my morals, my beliefs, I would not marry a woman. But who am I to decide that it isn’t okay for two people who love each other to get married? People constantly bring up the Bible in this situation and claim that a union between two same-sex individuals is wrong. Maybe so. But doesn’t the Bible also say in Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge, or you will be judged?” Who am I to judge a gay couple? Where do I get off acting like I am better than them because I’m heterosexual? As far as I’m concerned, homosexuality and same-sex marriage is between those individuals and God. God never asked me to point fingers or blame. As a matter of fact, I think He said quite the opposite when He said in the Ten Commandments, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Not only did He place this Commandment in His list of rules to live by, He also said to love your neighbor was one of the absolute most important of all of the Commandments (second only to “love the Lord”)! God didn’t say, “Love your neighbors as yourself… unless they’re gay.” Nor did he say, “Love your neighbors as yourself… unless they don’t act the way you think they should.” No. He just said to love them, because He loves them.
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It’s funny to me, when I get into conversations about gay marriage or abortion with fellow moms, they assume certain things about me. It is assumed that because I am a married woman, a Christian, and a mother, that I am against abortion and gay marriage. What’s interesting to me is that these factors in my life have made me even more open minded to gay marriage and abortion. Being pregnant is hard, giving birth sucks, and I couldn’t imagine being forced to decide whether I should keep my child or give it up for adoption. So, if a woman feels that her only choice is to abort her baby, then let her do it. Chances are, she’ll learn a lot about herself afterward and realize exactly what it means to have to live with such a serious decision. And as far as same-sex marriage? Some of the coolest, most generous, and loving people I know just so happen to be homosexual. What the heck is wrong with adding more love to the world, where there is otherwise so much hurt?
There’s my two cents on those hot topics. I’d love to hear your points of view. No judgment here, whether you believe strongly one way or another. I realize that my views are slightly contradictory, but that’s just the way I am.
Kudos!
I agree 100% with you. I’m not a mom (yet), but I am Christian and hetero, and I feel you on this.
The government’s job is not to force me or my neighbor to live a certain way. I wouldn’t appreciate being told I am only allowed to have a certain number of children, and it’s effective contraception or abortion thereafter. I wouldn’t appreciate being told I’m not allowed to have a wedding in my church because marriage has been reduced to a governmental process, complete with red tape and service fees.
These things go both ways. It doesn’t matter who’s making the rules — stay outta my house and stay outta my choices. And my neighbor’s, too!
Well put, Tanya!
I agree with you. What gets me is some of the same people who talk bad about gay people are out lying and cheating right and left. Both of those sins are in the Ten Commandments, so seems to me they’d be a little more important. Know what I mean? It’s like they will overlook some sins but condem people for others.
Maybe I just see things in black and white like my husband says. I believe each person is responsible for their own soul. We all have to do what’s right for US!
And, like you, I could never personally have an abortion, but don’t think it’s my place to make someone else keep a baby they can’t take care of or just don’t want. There are way too many unwanted children in the world already.
Anyway, there’s my comment…lol
I agree with you on all points.. great blog.
Thanks Amy.
Angel, I absolutely agree, and love how you worded this sentence:
“It’s like they will overlook some sins but condem people for others.”
So true!
Nicely put, L. I was surprised, not because I stereotyped you but because you spoke up. I think that took guts. My hat’s off to you.
Andi
Thank you Andi, I appreciate that!
I agree also! The way I see it, let people be who they want to be and make their own decisions in life. They are the ones who have to face whatever consequences that might happen and we have no right to judge anyone for thinking, acting, feeling, or being the way they want to be. I never like to judge anyone and I don’t like to fight with people just because they don’t act the way I do or live the way I do.
Not everyone has to agree on everything. That is what is great about being individuals, we all have a different opinion about life and important matters. If we all agreed or disagreed on everything, life would be pretty boring. However, we do not need to fight with other people who choose to do what makes them happy or what they feel is something important they have to do. I do not like abortion either but I will never judge someone for choosing to have one. I am not gay but my husbands uncle is gay and he is one of the nicest men I know.
Great blog post, Lindsay! I wish everyone would see it this way, then there wouldn’t be all of this fighting in this world.
Shall I be the first to disagree? Yikes, it’s lonely out here. But, one of my favorite quotes is something like “Stand up for what you believe in … even if your voice shakes” I will lovingly & respectfully disagree.
Abortion: Simply put I believe someone needs to be a voice for those who do not have one. I can’t fully comprehend the pain a victim of rape or incest must feel but it’s my opinion that an abortion will (maybe not right away but eventually) compound that pain. I believe if we stay in God’s will His hand will be on our lives & He will make good of what is bad.
Gay Marriage: I agree…we should not judge. But, as Christians we are called to stand up for what is right. Not as screaming bigots spewing hate & intolerance but as loving friends coming along side a fellow sinner. sunnflr is right. We are all sinners. No one is holier or better or less a sinner. This is why it’s important to not approach the issue with a holier than thou attitude but more of a ‘hey, friend, let’s help each other.’ But I feel that’s beside the point, I’m against gay marriage because I don’t want something that MY God has called detestable being accepted into the society in which my daughter lives. The bottom line is that our basic morals come from the Bible. No lying, no cheating, no stealing, etc. So I don’t think there’s any separating the Bible from this debate.
Thanks for allowing me to speak my piece!
Love ya & love your blog! 
Clarissa- It is great having our own individual thoughts and ideas. Amen to that.
Heather- I was SO hoping you’d say something, because I know we see things a little different. I really appreciate your input, you have a lot of good points! Love right back atcha, girl. ♥
I have no comment on abortion. I have struggled with that issue for sometime and not sure what I feel is right or wrong.
I have to agree with Heather on the gay marriage issue. As Christians we are called to spread the gospel and encourage repentence (turning away from or changing of ones thoughts) of sin. As a Christian and to support homosexuality or gay marriage is wrong. My favorite way of looking is as a fellow pastor told me once - Love the sinner not the sin.
Great blog Linds! Good for you for standing up and speaking your mind!
I agree 100% with you on both issues! I am also Pro-Choice AND Pro-Life! I don’t think abortion is anything I would be able to do regardless of the situation but I believe it should be left up to the woman. I think it is just another choice being taken away.
And, I am also for gay’s rights! I get a lot of negative feedback for this one…mainly from people who tell me because I am a Christian - I should be against homosexuality. Well, I think love comes in many different ways and forms and who am I to tell someone they can’t love someone because it doesn’t “look good” or because it “makes me feel umcomfortable”?! I always ask people, “If you had a family member who was gay, wouldn’t you want them to have the same rights to love whomever they chose?”
Pastor Bird- Thank you for your response, and welcome to my blog. I really love that saying “Love the sinner, not the sin.” I think that puts succinctly what I’m trying to say here.
Maggie- That is such a good point, about loving a family member if they were gay. Just because you don’t agree with their actions and preferences, doesn’t mean you can’t love the person. Thank you!
Pastor Bird + Heather, I agree with y’all, too, about homosexuality, to a point. I don’t believe that homosexuality is right, and I don’t believe it should be condoned in the church. But the church is not run by the government, and it doesn’t run our government, either.
I believe we ARE mandated, as Christians, to spread the Truth to every soul that crosses our path; to plant seeds in all soil.
But I am not the government, and I don’t want to be. I want and, in this country, AM entitled (even though I hate that word!) the right to control my relationships. I expect all my neighbors to be entitled to that right, as well. Homosexuality doesn’t cause me — or even my (future) children! — injury unless I let it. Therefore, it is a personal “problem” that should dealt with personally, not federally.
Wow, congratulations on all the comments!
I agree with you on both points. I got into some heated debates during the ‘04 election about gay marriage. At the time I was fiercely against gay marriage because of my religious beliefs.
When I took a step back and saw what so many straight people were doing to ruin their marriages I changed my tune. If straight couples don’t take their marriages seriously we should give someone else the chance to set the example.
We do need more love in the world. If someone just wants to be loved and have that love recognized forever, I’m for that.
Well said, again, Tanya!
Heather- Excellent point on how straight couples ruin their marriages. Totally true.
Really interesting posting. I have made similar comments regarding Pro-Choice. I strongly believe abortion is a choice every woman should be allowed to make given all the options. What I would choose is another story…
I’m with you on those subjects. Let people be with who they love, if there was more love in the world things just might be different and we could all stop living in fear of one another.
As for abortion I’m for it, I haven’t had one and don’t plan on it but sometimes that is a choice some people have to make. I don’t think it should be a form of birth control, if you are taking a risk of not using a condom or taking a pill or anything else you are taking a risk of getting pregnant and if you are old enough to have sex then you are old enough to know how babies are made. Personally I got pregnant while on the pill after 4 years on being on it, but I never thought of abortion getting preggo is a risk of sex and I love my son more than my life itself, and I thank god everyday that I have him, I believe he has made me a better person.
But I can say if I was raped I don’t think I could keep the resulting child, not sure if I would abort but I don’t think I could keep it. I think it would be a constant reminder of that painfull time that I could never get over, and if I did carry the baby to term and give it away how would I tell my son that there is a baby in my belly but you can never see it, its going to live somewhere else. And as someone has already said there are enough kids in this world who are not loved or wanted why would I want to carry a baby knowing that it might ahve a horribal life.
I know that was one big mess but I just typed what came to mind, Thanks for reading.