Silly Mom Thoughts

When I think back to before I was a mother, I realize how starry-eyed and sure I was about parenting and being a mom. I knew exactly how things were going to be and how I was going to control them. But, like most moms, I came down-to-earth very quickly. For myself, this venture into reality started even before my first baby popped his head out into the world.

Everyone tells you that your first child is probably not going to come before your due date, but the most level-headed of moms thinks that maybe she’s that small percent who has her baby early or right on time. I remember setting up one of those “guess when baby’s coming” polls and crying when my dad put down that Bug would be born 10 days after his due date. Turns out, my dad was right. This was my first lesson of the realities of motherhood and how little control I actually had.

The next lesson involved Bug’s birth. I was induced on a Tuesday and sent home on Wednesday with no baby. My induction failed and I was crushed. You cannot explain to an incredibly hormonal pregnant woman that she will not, in fact, be pregnant forever, and that she should simply be happy that she’s carrying a healthy child. Oh no. I was discouraged and upset, but in that moment I realized yet again that things didn’t always come out the way they were planned.

The next day, I went into labor on my own. I labored for 24 hours, pushing for 3, and by this point I was exhausted. Since I had already learned the two previous valuable lessons in motherhood, I was prepared for this one. When they told me that I would need a c-section, I said, “Okay, let’s do it!” Not only did I simply want my 9lb5oz gigantic-headed child out of me now, I knew that I had done everything in my power to deliver him vaginally and this was out of my hands. I was finally beginning to truly understand that there are somethings in life and in motherhood that I could control, and others that I couldn’t.

Fast forward a couple of years. Now, I will admit, I was always one of those girls who watched parents with their children and thought, “My child will never behave that way.” And, to a point, I refuse to parent in ways that I have witnessed. I refuse to dole out warnings and not follow through with them. I refuse to let my child treat others with disrespect. But I digress…

Even while Bug was an infant, I thought I had this parenting thing perfected. Then Bug reached about one-and-a-half. (Seriously, terrible twos? Pah. More like terrible one-and-a-half through threes.) All of a sudden I had a demon child on my hands. A strong-willed, highly-spirited child who threw himself on the ground when he didn’t get his way, who screamed and bit and hit me. A child who reserved the worst of his behaviors for when we were out in public.

A new realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have one of “those kids” that acts out in public. I am one of “those parents” that I swore I would never be. Yet, it wasn’t mine or my husband’s lack of parenting. We did timeouts and even spanked on rare occasions. We remained consistent. We left the store during tantrums, even if we didn’t have a chance to buy the groceries we needed. And yet, our child was a hellion. It took me a while to realize that I had done everything in my control to make sure Bug was a good kid. It was just his age that created this situation. His age was out of my control.

I have come to many realizations over the past three years of my parenting career. Fortunately, with each one, I become a better parent who is more equipped to take on the craziness that my kids deal out to me. Now, when I talk to moms-to-be or hopeful moms, I have to stifle a laugh when they think they know it all about parenting.

Oh honey, I chuckle to myself, You have no idea!