Silly Mom Thoughts

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve been slow to jump on the “Going Green” bandwagon. It’s not that I don’t think Going Green isn’t important, I do, I’ve just been… lazy. And cheap.

I fully intend to replace the light bulbs in my house with those fancy schmancy energy efficient ones. But I’m waiting for the ones we have, to burn out first. I’m sorry, but I am not wasting perfectly good light bulbs just to go out and buy expensive ones. Not gonna happen. And, as it just so happens, we turn lights off when we leave the room (see, we’re sorta green) so our light bulbs tend to last a really long time.

But I will buy the energy efficient ones, I swear. Eventually.

It breaks my heart every time I see those ads on how much waste plastic grocery bags create. It’s truly saddening. So, I purchased 4 or 5 of those “made from recycled material” reusable bags from my grocery store.

Do you think that I ever remember to bring them into the store with me? Um, no.

So, I end up having my groceries bagged in plastic and I vow that next time, next time I will remember the reusable bags. That has yet to happen.  But I try, I really do try!

All hope is not lost for my green-ness. I wash everything in cold water. We turn our heat to 57 degrees at night and 65 during the day. I keep my cell phone charger, toaster, and coffee maker unplugged when not in use. (I read somewhere that unplugging these things when they aren’t being used can save over $50 a year, wow.)

However, I won’t be starting a compost bin. That takes Going Green to a whole new moldy, stinky level that I don’t want to deal with.

So for now, I’ll actually try to remember the reusable bags and replace light bulbs with efficient ones. I should also probably get to installing that water conserving shower head the utilities company sent me months ago…

For now I’ll consider myself sorta green. How about teal?

How our parents ever captured a decent picture of us as children is beyond me. I can only imagine what it was like, picking up the film at the photo counter before digital cameras came out.

“Oh, kids, I need to pick up some pictures!” Mom would exclaim, maneuvering the shopping cart toward the photo counter.

“I can’t wait to see how the pictures turned out. They’re from Sarah’s birthday party.”

Flip, flip, flip, she would look through the packages containing the photographs of strangers, until she finally came to hers. (She always decorated the “J” in the box uniquely so she could spot her photos quickly. Smart Mom.)

Her children are now excited, remembering how much fun the birthday party was, and hoping to see themselves in the photographs.

Mom’s face would fall when she began thumbing through the pictures.

One after another, she’d see pictures like this:

And this:

And maybe this:

No good pictures of the children, not a single good picture of Sarah’s birthday party.

Dejected, Mom would place the photos back into the envelope and drop it into the cart. She was going to have to pay for 30 pictures of nothing but blurs and partial faces.

Damn.

Aren’t you glad we don’t have to deal with that? One click of the button, and Beep! bad pictures are erased. You can take picture after picture of your child, and go back later to delete the crappy ones. I love it.

Thank God for technology, right?

I have had this blog floating around in my head for quite some time now, unsure of when or how to post it. With the impending presidential election and the subsequent hot button issues being hashed over repeatedly, I figure now is a better time than any. I don’t intend for my blog to touch on a whole lot of controversial topics, but I feel like I need to get this out there. So, be prepared for this blog, as the subjects I touch on will be abortion and same-sex marriage. I think that what I’m about to say may surprise even my closest friends!

Alright, let’s just get this out there: I am Pro-Choice.*

Allow me to explain the purpose behind the asterisk.

As for myself, my morals, and my beliefs, I am Pro-Life. I cannot fathom a situation where I would choose to abort my child. I know what a blessing children are, and I am in a stable, loving relationship where I know I can nurture and raise wonderful children. For me, abortion is not okay. For me, it is killing a life. The second I saw each of my little baby’s heartbeats on that ultrasound, I knew that life existed long before a baby was even shaped. For me, I am Pro-Life.

But it is not up to me, or anyone else to tell a woman what is right for her. It is not up to the government to tell a woman who has been the victim of rape or incest that she must carry that child to term. It is not up to the government to decide what actions a woman takes with her body.

I know a handful of women who have had abortions. I also know that they grieve the loss of their child even decades later. I know that they wonder constantly, “What if.” If you are willing to have an abortion, you have to also be willing to live with the “What ifs” that will plague you for the rest of your life. But ultimately, that is the woman’s decision. Not mine, not yours, not the government. As far as the government’s involvement in a woman’s body is concerned, I am very much Pro-Choice.

Okay, that wasn’t so bad, was it? On to the next topic.

I am For Same-Sex Marriage*

Again, with an asterisk.

For me, for myself, my morals, my beliefs, I would not marry a woman. But who am I to decide that it isn’t okay for two people who love each other to get married? People constantly bring up the Bible in this situation and claim that a union between two same-sex individuals is wrong. Maybe so. But doesn’t the Bible also say in Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge, or you will be judged?” Who am I to judge a gay couple? Where do I get off acting like I am better than them because I’m heterosexual? As far as I’m concerned, homosexuality and same-sex marriage is between those individuals and God. God never asked me to point fingers or blame. As a matter of fact, I think He said quite the opposite when He said in the Ten Commandments, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Not only did He place this Commandment in His list of rules to live by, He also said to love your neighbor was one of the absolute most important of all of the Commandments (second only to “love the Lord”)! God didn’t say, “Love your neighbors as yourself… unless they’re gay.” Nor did he say, “Love your neighbors as yourself… unless they don’t act the way you think they should.” No. He just said to love them, because He loves them.

—-

It’s funny to me, when I get into conversations about gay marriage or abortion with fellow moms, they assume certain things about me. It is assumed that because I am a married woman, a Christian, and a mother, that I am against abortion and gay marriage. What’s interesting to me is that these factors in my life have made me even more open minded to gay marriage and abortion. Being pregnant is hard, giving birth sucks, and I couldn’t imagine being forced to decide whether I should keep my child or give it up for adoption. So, if a woman feels that her only choice is to abort her baby, then let her do it. Chances are, she’ll learn a lot about herself afterward and realize exactly what it means to have to live with such a serious decision. And as far as same-sex marriage? Some of the coolest, most generous, and loving people I know just so happen to be homosexual. What the heck is wrong with adding more love to the world, where there is otherwise so much hurt?

There’s my two cents on those hot topics. I’d love to hear your points of view. No judgment here, whether you believe strongly one way or another. I realize that my views are slightly contradictory, but that’s just the way I am.

At this moment one year ago I was reclined in a hospital bed, madly scratching my nose as the morphine wore off, and thankful for the motion sickness patch the nurse put behind my ear to help the morphine pukeys subside. One year ago, I was snuggling my Bean for the first time and taking in all of her features. Daddy’s toes. Mommy’s nose. Daddy’s blue eyes, but Mommy’s eye shape. One year ago,  I fell in love with my Bean.

Why does time have to pass so quickly? I remember her being born, I remember holding her little body in my arms, watching her tiny little fingers grip my finger… yet it feels like that’s all a figment of my imagination. Thank God for video tapes and digital cameras, or I’d never be able to truly remember what she looked like on her birthday.

We celebrated Bean’s birthday with the traditional pizza, smash cake, and presents. And, being that it was Seahawks Sunday, we did most of our celebrating at halftime. Bean loved her cake, and her big brother helped her devour it. She got lots of fun girly presents like a Cabbage Patch Kids from us, clothes, and a play purse.

Bean was also inducted into girl-hood as I wrangled her down to put her very first pony tail in her hair. She looked a-freaking-dorable! Here, see for yourself:

To add to this awesome day, Bean and Bug now have their first cousin! Turk’s brother and his girlfriend welcomed their first baby, a girl, into the world this evening. We are so happy that she’s here and everyone is healthy. How fun that Bean and her cousin share the same birthday!

Finally, as if this weren’t all exciting enough, the Seahawks WON in their away game against the 49ers!! I was shocked. Happy, but shocked, since the 49ers kicked our booties when they were here in September.

What a day!

Ever since I jumped into this “Motherhood” thing, there is one thing that has baffled me, and continues to baffle me to this day.

It isn’t the decision to breastfeed or not (and really, who cares as long as your baby is fed and loved).

Nor is it the decision to be a stay-at-home-mom or to work (again, who cares).

It doesn’t even have to do with hard-hitting issues like circumcision or vaccinations.

Nuh uh.

It has to do with relationships. Specifically, of the Husband and Wife kind.

I co-host a birth board on one of those mommy chat sites, and I’ve seen a lot in the way of controversy and heated issues. I have also seen posts from women where I have felt very very sorry for their children and spouses. Possibly one of the most prominent conversations in my mind dealt with co-sleeping.

The woman on this co-sleeping chat admitted that her children still slept in bed with herself and her husband. Admittedly, I don’t remember their exact ages, but I believe it was something like 6 and 3. What disturbed me most about this lady’s admission was that she mentioned very explicitly that her husband disagreed with co-sleeping and was quite unhappy with their sleeping arrangement. Her response to him was essentially, “Tough cookies. The kids are more important.”

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this scenario?

Now, I will admit, I have co-slept with my children. When babies are newborn, keeping your boob monster nearby is often all you can do to get a few minutes of uninterrupted sleep. Then, of course, there are times when they get older and they have a bad dream or wake up early and curl into bed with you. I get that. I live with that. What I don’t get, what baffles me more than anything in life, is choosing your children over your otherwise healthy, loving relationship with your spouse.

Do women not realize that once the kids are grown and gone that they’re still (hopefully) going to be married to their husband? Don’t they realize that if they stop talking to them, stop taking their feelings and thoughts to heart, that they are also going to stop growing in their relationship? Most importantly, don’t these people (mostly women) know that the single most important people in their kids’ lives are their parents? And that kids want their parents together and happy, not co-habitating and miserable?

Keeping the love alive after you have kids is really freaking hard. It’s hard to get it on when your baby is curled up next to you in a bassinet or even knowing that they’re in the room next to yours.

(Funny side story: Turk and I were having some *ahem* “time” together and forgot to lock the door. I heard Bug opening the door and, being the genius I am, I hid underneath the covers . When I realized he wasn’t going to leave the room, I emerged from my hiding spot. Bug’s face lit up and he asked, “I hide too?” while attempting to lift the covers. Turk and I both yelled “No!” and Bug ran out of the room.)

It’s hard to find time in your busy day of endless laundry and spit-up to feel like looking sexy. And, when given the option, my guess is that you’d easily choose nap over a shower on most days. But, no matter how tough it is, taking the time now to nurture and expand your marriage will only make things easier down the road. Maybe then, when you’re celebrating your 30 year anniversary, you can look back on those times when your kids almost caught you bumping uglies and giggle about it. My hope is that then, you’ll realize that you’re still in love all those years and babies later.

Here’s an article I wrote with tips on bringing back romance after baby. I hope you enjoy it!

http://www.ehow.com/how_4561448_back-romance-after-baby-arrives.html

Love each other. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and the easier the hard times will be.

As a blogger, I get the opportunity to view the traffic on my site. I can see which sites are referring to this page and how many new people visit every day. It’s pretty cool to watch the numbers go up. There’s also an option to see what people searched for and landed on my page. For instance, if someone typed in “Squeaky Shoes” on Google, my page would come up. interesting enough, I have pulled in about 20 page views just from the term “Squeaky Shoes!” Another popular search term is “MOPS Convention 2008.” It’s good to know that my tags are working.

There are some search terms, however, that made me chuckle. Check these out:

“have you ever thought a turk”

“pictures of breastfed baby poos”

“thoughts about messy houses and children”

and my all-time favorite:

“moms wearing spandex in public”

Each of those search terms brought someone to my site. I wonder what the person who searched “have you ever thought a turk” thought about this blog? More importantly, I want them to know that I have thought a Turk, and I thought he was a stud.

I’m interested to see what search terms bring in readers when I eventually mention the words “sex” or “naked”(oh wait, I just did).

When I think back to before I was a mother, I realize how starry-eyed and sure I was about parenting and being a mom. I knew exactly how things were going to be and how I was going to control them. But, like most moms, I came down-to-earth very quickly. For myself, this venture into reality started even before my first baby popped his head out into the world.

Everyone tells you that your first child is probably not going to come before your due date, but the most level-headed of moms thinks that maybe she’s that small percent who has her baby early or right on time. I remember setting up one of those “guess when baby’s coming” polls and crying when my dad put down that Bug would be born 10 days after his due date. Turns out, my dad was right. This was my first lesson of the realities of motherhood and how little control I actually had.

The next lesson involved Bug’s birth. I was induced on a Tuesday and sent home on Wednesday with no baby. My induction failed and I was crushed. You cannot explain to an incredibly hormonal pregnant woman that she will not, in fact, be pregnant forever, and that she should simply be happy that she’s carrying a healthy child. Oh no. I was discouraged and upset, but in that moment I realized yet again that things didn’t always come out the way they were planned.

The next day, I went into labor on my own. I labored for 24 hours, pushing for 3, and by this point I was exhausted. Since I had already learned the two previous valuable lessons in motherhood, I was prepared for this one. When they told me that I would need a c-section, I said, “Okay, let’s do it!” Not only did I simply want my 9lb5oz gigantic-headed child out of me now, I knew that I had done everything in my power to deliver him vaginally and this was out of my hands. I was finally beginning to truly understand that there are somethings in life and in motherhood that I could control, and others that I couldn’t.

Fast forward a couple of years. Now, I will admit, I was always one of those girls who watched parents with their children and thought, “My child will never behave that way.” And, to a point, I refuse to parent in ways that I have witnessed. I refuse to dole out warnings and not follow through with them. I refuse to let my child treat others with disrespect. But I digress…

Even while Bug was an infant, I thought I had this parenting thing perfected. Then Bug reached about one-and-a-half. (Seriously, terrible twos? Pah. More like terrible one-and-a-half through threes.) All of a sudden I had a demon child on my hands. A strong-willed, highly-spirited child who threw himself on the ground when he didn’t get his way, who screamed and bit and hit me. A child who reserved the worst of his behaviors for when we were out in public.

A new realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have one of “those kids” that acts out in public. I am one of “those parents” that I swore I would never be. Yet, it wasn’t mine or my husband’s lack of parenting. We did timeouts and even spanked on rare occasions. We remained consistent. We left the store during tantrums, even if we didn’t have a chance to buy the groceries we needed. And yet, our child was a hellion. It took me a while to realize that I had done everything in my control to make sure Bug was a good kid. It was just his age that created this situation. His age was out of my control.

I have come to many realizations over the past three years of my parenting career. Fortunately, with each one, I become a better parent who is more equipped to take on the craziness that my kids deal out to me. Now, when I talk to moms-to-be or hopeful moms, I have to stifle a laugh when they think they know it all about parenting.

Oh honey, I chuckle to myself, You have no idea!

I have finally become a grandmother, isn’t that wonderful? All these years I have heard people say that grandbabies are so much fun, and now I get to see for myself. I know, I know, I’m a little young to be a grandma, but I am just loving this sweet little bundle that has blessed our lives. She is perfect in every way and has the sweetest little face. They should really model the next baby doll after her. I know, I’m biased since I am her grandma after all, but I can’t help but just love my grandbaby’s cuteness!

And so, without further ado, allow me to introduce you to my new grandbaby:

 Isn’t she just gorgeous?!

It took just moments after first meeting her baby, before Bean named her. As she held her little bundle and open-mouth kissed her entire face, I leaned down and whispered, “What’s your baby’s name, Bean?” to which she quickly replied, “Nnnn Mama!” I can’t tell you how much it means to me that she would even consider naming her child after me. I am so flattered.

Nnnn Mama is adopted, but we love her as if Bean carried her all these months. We got to hold and snuggle Nnnn Mama yesterday for the first time, in Target of all places. Nnnn Mama weighs about 2 oz. and is 6″ long. Bean has chosen to co-sleep with Nnnn Mama, which I think is a wonderful way to create a good bond between Mother and Child. Bean apparently does not believe in back sleeping, however, as I have found Nnnn Mama in various sleeping positions, the most precarious of which involved her head on the mattress and her feet in the air.

We do have some concerns about Nnnn Mama’s health. Every time we lay her down, her eyes close and she cannot be roused unless she is lifted up. Then, when she’s alert, she doesn’t blink. Her eyes are constantly glazed over and she doesn’t respond to light or movement. In addition, her insides feel very mushy and she hasn’t had a single pee pee or poo poo diaper since we brought her home. Bean is optimistic that it will be okay. She is one tough little Mama.

As is her right as a mom, Bean has chosen not to breastfeed Nnnn Mama. As a matter of fact, I don’t think Bean has fed Nnnn Mama in the 24 hours that she has been home. I think maybe we need to look into that. For right now, Bean is just loving her new little bundle. She spends countless minutes chewing on Nnnn Mama’s head and banging her on her highchair tray. Bean’s favorite part of her new baby is her toes. She can’t help but nibble on those cute little tootsies all day long. I can tell that Bean is head over heels for her baby. It makes a mother proud to see her baby all grown up, holding her own baby. I cannot put into words the overflowing joy I feel at this very moment.

So, there is the newest news in our crazy little family. I cannot believe I am a grandma already. Where did my baby go? (Oh, and Mom, if you’re reading this, that makes you a great-grandma at the age of 46. I think that could be a record or something.)

Pet lovers beware, you may not like this blog. Fair warning!

We do not have any pets in our house. As far as I’m concerned, we will not have pets in our house for a very long time. Pets are needy, sometimes whiny, and occasionally poop on the rug. In short, they’re toddlers with lots of hair. I do not need another toddler in my house right now.

Occasionally, when someone sees Bug petting a kitty nicely, or Bean lovin’ on a dog, they’ll make a comment like, “You guys should get a pet!”

Ummm. No thanks.

We had a cat. We actually adopted her earlier this year. She wanted nothing to do with us until the kids were in bed. At bedtime, when I finally got a chance to breathe, she decided that she wanted to curl up in my lap. Cute, right? Yes, maybe, if you haven’t already spent the day being pawed at by kids, and having your lap continuously occupied by their little booties. When the kids go to bed, I reserve the right to keep my lap booty free.

After a couple of months as our hairy family member, our kitty decided to run up into a tree and get stuck. We figured that she’d come down eventually, but after a few days of hearing her crying from the branches, Turk finally went to go see if he could get her down. He stood on a log below the branch, called out her name, and she fell…

Onto his face.

She did come home, though, so we know the fall didn’t injure her. She stuck around for a few weeks after that, but one day she didn’t come home. That was a few months ago now. We’re pretty sure she was either eaten or found another home. It’s sad, but we aren’t running out to replace her.

Now dogs are a whole other story. At least cats are pretty independent and either poo in a littler box or outside where you’ll probably never see it. Dogs on the other hand… Yuck.

I deal with enough poop on a daily basis, thank you. I do not need to clean up after a dog too.

So for now, we have a No Pets Allowed house, and we’re okay with that. It’s one less expense, one less thing to worry about if we go out of town, one less accident to clean up. Maybe one day when our kids can wipe their own booties and we live on a few acres of land, we’ll think differently.

Sorry pet lovers. I warned ya.

As I mentioned in my Recession = Lame blog, we’re cutting back every way we can. It has been more than a little tough giving up fun things and saying “No” to parties and nights out, but I think we’ll be glad we did once we see our bank account increasing again. Despite all of these sacrifices, there was one thing that I refused to miss out on this year: the pumpkin patch.

We have visited a pumpkin patch every year since Bug could walk, and some of my favorite pictures come from our pumpkin patch visits. There is nothing like those vibrant oranges and reds set against a beautiful blue sky (no, it doesn’t always rain in Seattle). This year, we decided to do the pumpkin patch, but do it extra frugal. Here’s how it went:

We showed up at the pumpkin patch and saw that we had to pay for everything, even the hay ride around the patch (jerks), so we walked around. (Well we walked. Bug ran, like any toddler boy would.)

 We took the traditional pumpkin patch pictures, like Mommy and Bean (notice her super cute Squeaky Shoes):

Bean sitting on lots of pumpkins:

And the ever-cheesy, but oh-so endearing, Turk and Bug walking hand-in-hand:

And then we left. No pumpkins, no cider, no kettle corn. Such sadness. But it was all too expensive!

All hope was not lost, however…

We hit jackpot at the Poor Kids’ Pumpkin Patch:

Yep, the local grocery store. We got a ginormous pumpkin for less than $7, people! Now, I’m all for supporting local farmers, but right now we have to look out for ourselves. Plus, these pumpkins probably came from somewhere nearby, right?

We saved so much money, we splurged on Italian sausage for our spaghetti dinner and pumpkin pie filling to make some nummy pie. The kids even got free cookies at the bakery.

We’re cheap and dang proud of it.

And we found out that Bug’s hat fit on Turk’s head:

All-in-all, a great day!